Into The Sun 2013 – That’s the name of the camp that we just completed with our church here in South Africa. It was incredible. I’ve been on a lot of youth camps (I wanted to say a hundred, but that might be exaggerating a little bit) and this one was different. I knew after the first night with the Firehouse kids that this camp would be one to remember.
Me on the beach in Jeffrey’s Bay!
I’ve been sick lately. I started having digestive issues the day that we left to travel to South Africa. I started taking Cipro the next day and after all that had cleared up, I got the cold/cough bug from someone on the squad. When we arrived at camp, I was feeling crappy. I was tired, my head hurt, and I wasn’t super stoked about being there. We had the afternoon on Tuesday off and I tried to get some rest so I would be as rested as possible for the session that night.
Tuesday night I tasted my first bit of the passion that these kids have. It was something that I don’t think I’ve seen before. The session was three hours long and I don’t think the kids minded at all. It was somewhat typical up until the end. The session started with worship led by some awesome students who know how to worship and usher others in to worship, then a message, and then… then it happened. The emcees went up front and said ministry was starting. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it meant that everyone was going to pray for each other and speak life over each other. All the staff and counselors came up front and people started pairing up. It was incredible.
I’m still caught a little off guard when things like this start happening. I still have a little bit of death to myself to deal with. I don’t like praying over people, especially people that I don’t know at all. I didn’t pray over to minister to anyone on Tuesday night. The only conversations I had were ones that students initiated with me. I fact, that’s the way it was the whole week. When the kids left on Friday, I felt like a schmuck. I could make excuses all day long – that I was sick, that I was dealing with issues on the squad… but none of it matters. I didn’t do what God had me there to do.
The rest of the camp was really great, and I do really value the time that I was able to spend in the sessions and with the kids, but I can’t help but rebuke myself because of the opportunities that I missed. If I had to do it all over again, I’d be praying with and for as many of those kids as I could. It’s easy to say now.
This is just one symptom of “month eleven-itis” as I’ve been calling it. Month eleven-itis is defined by me as the equivalent to “senioritis” as experienced the last year or semester of high school. It’s the feeling of wanting the next season of life to start, the feeling of tiredness, laziness, and apathy. You know it’s settled and become cozy when the old you starts returning – when you start becoming selfish and entitled again.
I’ve witness month eleven-itis take captive a few squad mates. I’ve tried hard to fight against it, but it’s finally taken me.
This past weekend, Erin and I ended up staying behind in Jeffrey’s Bay due to some squad issues. We fought and prayed on Friday wondering if we should really “rock the boat” so-to-speak. We wondered if it was really worth it. We finally concluded that if it were any other month, we wouldn’t let these things slide so we either had to do something about it or quit.
We did something about it. We made a lot of people unhappy. We rocked the boat. People are unhappy about being called out on their selfishness and entitlement. People are frustrated that they still have to be in groups of at least two when they walk around even though Jeffrey’s Bay compares to the States.
During all of these talks with team leaders, treasurers, and the teams themselves, God revealed something to me. I’m no better. I have been selfish and entitled. I’ve been lazy. I’ve failed to choose in more times then I’d like to count on this Race. It’s funny because if you ask any former Racer what they would change about their next Race, they all say they would “choose in” from the get go. I should’ve listened because now I’m just another Racer Alumni recommending the same thing to future Racers.
I’m sorry to all those Firehouse students reading this. I’m sorry that I didn’t invest in you at ITS. I’m sorry that I didn’t speak life over you and pour in to your lives as much as God called me to. Please forgive me.
I’ve been privileged enough to take many long walks with Jesus on this beach in Jeffrey’s Bay. Thank you Jesus for beaches like this…
