This is technically my first month of being a full-blown squad leader for L Squad. While I had some responsibilities last month, this month I’ve graduated and I’m joining the big leagues. As I’ve witnessed while watching Erin over the last few months, sometimes squad leaders aren’t able to participate in ministry as often as they’d like to. It was one of my expectations when I agreed to be raised up.
This month, I only participated in ministry with my team five days. I wasn’t expecting that. I have a bad attitude about it. The whole reason I signed up for The World Race was to go out and change the world through service. I am good at that. I’m not good at what my Thailand host calls “body ministry”. I’m not good at investing in people and spending time with people and being relational.
Between a squad mate being in the hospital, a leader retreat, a retreat for another team, and other stuff going on, I felt that I didn’t “accomplish” much this month. It wasn’t until a fellow L squadder pointed out that I still did ministry every day, it just might have looked different that building a road at a church. I was still unsettled at the idea. I’m super task oriented and I like to be able to see physical projects completed. I like checkpoints and checkboxes. Basically I enjoy anything that can be “checked”. Progress in relationships and investing in people is harder to be measured.
I’m currently sitting in the hospital patiently waiting for a squad mate to get discharged and as I look back on the month, I can see a month of ministry. It’s hard for me, but I see it. I see the potential that God let me to have at least one impactful conversation at leader retreat, I can see that He used in me other areas besides working with my team.
I’m thankful for all He’s doing and showing me, even though it can be frustrating at times. I’m thankful that I was able to travel all around Uganda this month and I even got to eat at Little Donkey again. My expectations weren’t met for this month, but I think that looking back on it, my experiences may have exceeded my expectations. Thank God that He’s got all of this under control!
