Hey guys! Wow, it’s been too long. I apologize for my lengthy absence – wifi is hard to come by nowadays. We have so much to catch up on! But no worries – I’m determined to get y’all completely caught up on the past three months ASAP.
The first piece of exciting news is I got a new team! We’re called team Overflow. It’s typical to experience one or two team changes throughout the World Race. AIM likes to mix things up so we can get to know and learn from more people on our squad. I LOVE my new team, but that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about my dear friend and new team leader, Hannah Pauwels.
This is Hannah and her friend, Roshni. Aren’t they the cutest?!
Hannah and I lived at Casa Blanca together for our three months in Ecuador. Even though we weren’t on the same team, she still had a profound affect on me. Let me tell you how.
First, she asks the best questions. I leave every one of our conversations feeling more known and loved than before. Have you ever thought about the power of a good question? I’ve learned that one basic desire of every human being is to feel known. All of us want to be understood, pursued and invested in. I’ve found that our generation is comfortable being in a room full of strangers they call friends. How well do we really know the people we spend our days with? I think our heads are too often faced down at our screens “connecting” with our closest 300 “friends” than faced out at the physical people in front of us. How many opportunities for true connection are we missing out on? This realization inspired me to start a question list with the goal of making those around me feel seen and heard. I want to truly know the people surrounding me. “How are you?” doesn’t cut it anymore. Who answers that honestly, anyway? Do you want to know how to stop a person in their tracks? Ask them how their soul is. That’ll make them think. You know why? Because they’ll know you care.
The first page of my question list.
Second, she is a true vessel for the Lord. He gives her the words and she speaks them. In Ecuador I was struggling with being more concerned about doing things for other people than just being with Jesus. I went into what I call “mom mode.” It’s basically Dylan trying to be perfect because she doesn’t feel like she’s enough. This involved me grasping for control of my environment. I thought if I had control of my circumstances then I could make them right. But I found myself stressed out and lonely.
“Controlling people are the loneliest people in the world.” – Donald Miller in Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy (read it!)
My spiritual gift is service. People with a servant’s heart often find themselves in this dilemma. We serve because it’s what God created us to do – but our motives tend to become tainted. It’s easy to start making it about us rather than the One who called us to serve in the first place. I’m a nurturer. Which is a good gift from the Lord. But when I’m nurturing others to earn love – I have a problem. That’s serving from a place of emptiness – not overflow. And that’s not serving at all.
One day I was feeling especially empty. It had been a long week and I spent that day preparing a nice Sunday dinner for the 20 people staying at Casa Blanca. Once everyone had eaten, I sat down in the dining room, feeling as though I’d ran a marathon. Hannah sat across from me. She asked me how I was. Knowing she genuinely wanted the truth, I told her. I told her I was tired, overwhelmed and frustrated. She listened to me go through my week and explain why I felt so defeated.
She asked if I knew the story of Jesus visiting Mary and Martha in Luke 10. Then it hit me like a bag of bricks. I physically felt the light bulb go off in my head. I immediately said, “I’m Martha.” Hannah nodded and said, “I know.” Not in a condescending way. It was as if she said, “I see you. I see you frantically running around this house as if your life depends on it. But no one ever asked you to run. You can sit down. And we will still love you and life will go on.” She gave me permission to stop performing. She gave me permission to be myself – because that’s enough.
From that moment on I was determined to be a Mary, not a Martha. No more hiding behind busyness. And let me tell you, it has been an amazing couple of months. My goal entering India was this: I will be myself 100% of the time. Neither circumstance nor people will determine what I say or do. I don’t need to prove myself to anybody. The only approval I seek is from Jesus. And He says, “Dylan, you’re freaking out about many things, but only one thing is important. Come sit with me a while. Forget the distractions, I am better. I’ll be here when you’re ready. I will always be here.”
Luke 10.
Finally, Hannah is an encourager. To encourage is to give courage. In month two we wrote notes to everyone living in Casa Blanca. Without knowing much about what I was walking through, she wrote: “God delights in exactly who you are. Begin showing people your depths. Your words matter.” She spoke directly to my soul. When I decided to confront my fear of speaking my mind and being myself in month four, Hannah’s words gave me courage. When I doubted whether I had much to give people, I remembered that Hannah saw depth in me. She saw past the mask. She saw me as God sees me. What a blessing.
Hannah’s note to me in month two.
Working through being my true self in month 4.
This incredible human being is my teammate and we’ll be spending the remainder of the race side by side. I’m looking forward to all the dance parties, laughs, Jesus moments, growth and deep conversations. But here’s the thing – technology can suck and sometimes websites say you’re fully funded when you’re really not. So Hannah needs to raise $800 in three days in order to stay on the field. Please consider donating to her because she’s a gift and I love her and she’s bringing Kingdom like a boss. Help keep Team Overflow full and visit Hannah’s blog to donate: hannahpauwels.theworldrace.org
Thanks y’all! Love you and talk soon!
UPDATE: Hannah is fully funded! Wow…took less than 24 hours. God is good!
