It took three days to hit me. We arrived in Ecuador on Thursday, October 6th. On October 9th, I broke. Suddenly nine months seemed like an eternity. Sorrow replaced excitement. I ached for home. I still do.
I miss being able to call my friends at a moments notice. I miss cuddling with my dogs. I miss cooking. I miss my family. I miss my church. I miss driving. I miss alone time. I miss clean clothes. I miss home cooked meals. I miss my people.
Don’t get me wrong – these past two weeks have been amazing. This post isn’t a pity party intended to make anyone feel sorry for me. I thank God for the incredible opportunity He’s given me. But I also don’t want the cute instagram posts to fool anyone. I’ve cried more days than not while being here. This is hard.
Community is the most challenging, yet rewarding thing there is. Living with 55 people is exhausting. I love people, but God made me an introvert. This means I have an internal battery, and when it hits 15%, I need to be alone to recharge. So sometimes this is me:
Ministry is wonderful and heartbreaking. We’re working at COVI (Centro Opcíon de Vida), a before and after school program for kids at risk. These little ones have my heart. They are precious beyond compare. We help with homework (thank you Spanish professors), teach English, assist in cooking the only meal some of them get a day, work in the garden, clean, give lots of hugs and play. The goal of COVI is to teach these kids about Jesus and let them be kids for a while. This past week, one of the girls missed two days and then showed up with a black eye and swollen hand. My heart shattered into a million pieces. In these moments I have to ask God, “why?” He then reminds me that He loves these kids more than I do. Getting to love her for a few hours a day and show her the love of Jesus is all I can do. I can’t save her, but I can pray for her and release her into God’s hands. He takes care of his kids.
So when I’m homesick, I think of these faces:
He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me. – Mark 9:36-37
And these faces:
These are my girls. I see a unique expression of God in every one of them. I have an abundance to learn from these women and I’m grateful to call them my sisters in Christ. We challenge each other daily and sometimes there are growing pains – but none of us want to come home the same. We are becoming more like Jesus and seeking God together. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. – Hebrews 10:24-25
Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. – Acts 2:46-47
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. – Acts 4:32
So that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. – 1 Corinthians 12:25-27
With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 4:2-6
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17
My teammate, Savannah, made a video summarizing our time at COVI so far:
Thanks for all your love and support! I couldn’t do this without your prayers and encouragement. God is good!
