Training Camp Part Two
You know how us Christians sing songs like, I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God…? Great song and totally true. But you know what? Sometimes you can’t help but be dang scared. The Holy Spirit helps us push through the fear; He doesn’t necessarily just take it away. This past year, the Lord has helped me conquer a lot of fear. However I went into training camp with one fear I hadn’t quite gotten a grip on: praying in public. It’s actually quite laughable. I often thought, How am I going to be a missionary if I’m scared of praying in front of people? It’s not that I had never done it, being a part of the church means praying with others. Yet I had never done it with confidence or without anxiousness and hesitation.
We had worship almost every evening at training camp. During each session I would pray for God to show me the power of prayer (ironic, I know). I thought, maybe if I understood how powerful prayer was, I wouldn’t be so reluctant to do it. On one unforgettable night, I was surrounded by my squad fervently praying for each other during worship. It was incredible. The Holy Spirit was so evidently present. I watched as His children allowed Him to speak through them and into the lives of others. I yearned to join in, but every time I felt the nudge to pray for someone, it was as if a huge barrier was placed between that person and me. I physically couldn’t get myself to cross it. It was so frustrating. I asked God, why can’t I do this and what’s wrong with me? I begged Him to break down the wall that was preventing me from laying hands on my squad mates and praying for them. I asked God to rid me of this fear and fill me with boldness. Then I felt a hand on my head. I didn’t know who it was, but after a few minutes she took my hands and turned me around to face her. I realized it was the director of training camp (who I had never met). She said, God is telling me to tell you that when you see someone you want to pray for, pray for them. He has anointed your hands. He believes in you. He loves you. Don’t rely on your own confidence. Find your confidence in Him. Then she prayed for me and gave me a big hug.
As she spoke to me, the tears began to fall. Tears of awe. Tears of joy. Tears of deliverance. He heard me. He was listening. He cared so much He asked another one of His children to prove it to me. To share His love with me. To show me the power of prayer, just like I asked Him to. Wow.
Fast forward to the next night. We were assigned a field scenario called, “The Camp Out.” Our whole squad had to spend the night in the middle of the woods with just two tarps and one backpack per two people. The weather forecast for the evening was rain and thunderstorms. Great! So we get out there and start setting up. It soon began to pour. Our tarps flooded and our things (not to mention us) were getting soaked. After rearranging our tarps, we decided to worship and pray for the rain to stop. Guess what happened? It stopped. Then our squad mate, who had been really sick for the past few hours, came down to join us. She had been napping to try and sleep it off, but she still felt horrible, so we prayed for her. And when nothing happened, we prayed again. And again. And again. I have to be honest – I didn’t know what to think at first. It seemed a little extreme. It was definitely out of my comfort zone. But after a while, she felt better! Then we prayed for our other squad mate who had sprained her ankle that day and was using crutches. We physically watched the swelling go down and her walk on it again. We continued to pray and worship for THREE hours in the middle of the forest. This sounds like a long time, but it didn’t feel long at all. I kept thinking, this is what Jesus meant when he said, Your kingdom come. There was such a sense of peace, power and community with each other and the Father. At one point, one of my squad mates said he felt like there were still some people who had something to surrender. I immediately fell on my knees and knew I needed to finally hand over my fear of praying out loud. God had showed me the power of prayer. He told me I was anointed. He told me I could do it. It was time I give this thing up. My squad surrounded me and covered me in prayer. When I got up, I felt like a new person. And guess what? After that, I was praying for my squad mates like there was no tomorrow.
Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. – John 8:36
So if you feel stuck in your faith, or maybe you’re not sure if God sees you, or you don’t believe in God at all, I hope this blog helps you realize that God is not an absent Father. If you’re stuck, He’ll meet you where you’re at. If you feel forgotten, ask God to reveal Himself to you. Seek and you will find (Matthew 7:7). If you’re not sure He even exists, well, I can’t make this stuff up. God is real. Or else I’m just really crazy. Before training camp I thought miracles were for reading about in the Bible and reserved for the “super-spiritual.” But that’s simply not true. The Holy Spirit lives inside every believer. He’s waiting for us to tap into the power He’s already given us. God yearns to show off the love He has for His children in extravagant ways, but I’ve been lacking the faith to believe He can do that through me. Not anymore.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you… – Romans 8:9
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. – 2 Corinthians 4:7
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. – Galatians 2:20
Thanks for stopping by! Next post about what we’re doing here in Quito coming soon!
