I now live in Georgia.
I used to live in Southern California but I flew to the opposite coast to start in an apprenticeship/discipleship program with The Center for Global Action. Now I live in a house with 7 other women, a married couple, and their baby. All of my housemates and I have partnered with Adventures In Missions in some capacity and for most of us that was the trip I did last year but for two of my housemates they went on a shorter mission trip with the Passport program. We all have seen the needs of this world and felt the pains of abandonment, suffering, and loss and we all want to make a difference.
So now we are all here in Gainesville, Georgia (fun fact: it is often called the Poultry Capital of the World).
Being a California girl I have noticed that things are a little different in the South. People have accents, sweet tea is served everywhere, 'sir' and 'ma'am' are anticipated pronouns, and there are churches on nearly every corner. The biggest thing that has surprised me since I have been here though is the eagerness of people to smile and wave at a stranger. (Disclaimer: at first it creeped me out and I thought these strangers had confused me for someone else, now I know its just because people are friendly and welcoming by nature).
The other night I was out with some friends at a coffee shop catching up and as we were returning to our car we got stopped by a woman named Paula. Paula asked us if we had any money for food stating that she was hungry and since we were not wanting to just hand out money we offered to take her to get food instead. Surprised by our offer Paula questioned a few times asking if we were sure that we really wanted to do that, we said yes, and took her to McDonalds at her request. She said wanted a Big Mac.
As we were driving Paula kept apologizing for being a burden and repeatedly told us how embarrassing it was to have to ask people for money to live. The one phrase she repeated so many times I can't even count was, "I'm human, I'm human, I'm sorry I'm just human."
At first this surprised me because of course my friends and I knew she was human. We are all human. After hearing her share parts of her story and sitting while she barely touched her food I really started to question why being human was something that needed an apology. In her eyes being human wasn't enough. She believed that there was some lack in her. She didn't see herself as worth anything, she even said as much.
My first instinct was to tell her that she was worthy. Worthy of life, worthy of love, worthy of being protected and known. But the words just wouldn't come out.
I sat there practically silent just listening to my friends speak life into her and lovingly ask her questions while I just couldn't get the words out. I didn't understand why I couldn't say these things in the moment but I knew with all my heart that I believed it. Her story touched my heart, a few times I felt her pain so clearly I had to hold back tears. But I couldn't tell her the one thing I knew she needed to hear.
After we dropped her off near her 'home' I sat in the car and cried while my friends talked about what we just experienced. I realized that I couldn't tell her that she was in fact worthy because I didn't believe it about myself. If some stranger came up to me and told me that I was worthy of being loved and known I would have said 'thank you' and denied any truth to their statement in my mind. So why would someone else believe it when I told them this same truth if they didn't believe it their heart?
I recognized that I needed to believe what I was preaching (for lack of a better word) to other people. If I honestly believe that all humans are made in the image of God then I must believe the same truths about myself.
That I am worthy, that I am able to be known, that I am delighted in.
Because that's the truth.
And if I want other people to hear the truth then I better start believing it for myself.
What truth do you need to remind yourself of and believe? Is there something in your life that you are telling other people and believing full heartedly but not allowing that same truth to be a fact for you?
