Having gone through the entire Race now, Bekah and I wanted to share our thoughts and experiences of these 11 months. We wanted to give our family and friends a bit more insight into this time. We wanted to offer insight, encouragement, and preparation to Racers and their significant others that may come after us. And most importantly, we wanted to give glory to God for His faithfulness through this entire process. So, ladies first:
It was early in our dating relationship when Drew asked me what I thought about his doing the World Race. My immediate thought was, “no! I don’t want you to go!” but that was immediately followed by the whisper in my heart that could have only been from the Lord, “he’s mine and this is what I want him to do.” I told him he should do it. Then he asked if I would want to continue our relationship, knowing what was coming. That was a much easier question to answer. Of course I did. I think I knew at that point that I had an incredible man and the Lord was in this relationship. Ending the relationship was not an option. I had no idea how hard this year would be. I also didn’t know the depth of God’s grace and mercy but I was soon to find out.
Fast-forward about 9 months and it’s the weekend of launch. On Friday, I met Drew in Auburn (on my way to Atlanta from Mobile where I was in school). That afternoon he asked me to marry him and I, of course, said yes. And then he launched on Monday. Planning a wedding with your fiancé halfway across the world is an interesting experience but the process has been incredible, Drew has been as involved as he can be, and God’s provision has been evident at every turn. Yes, there have been times (almost everyday) that I wish Drew could be here to share the experience with me, but I believe that the Lord is sovereign and we believe that he has called us to take this next step in our relationship, so we move forward in faith that he will make something beautiful.
The race will throw a lot of challenges at you and your relationship. Persevere. Run this race with them and be open to the Lord. He wants to use this time to get close with you as much as your racer. I spent much of the year fighting God. Not all of the time, but it happened enough. I didn’t like the challenges the race presented. I told him medical school and residency interviews were hard enough. Why did I have to have this thing that was so much harder than anything I had ever done? I’ll tell you why, it’s because the hardest things draw us closer to God than we’ve ever been before. Surrender to his plan for your life. The race may feel like his plan for your racer but it’s his plan for your life, too, it just looks a little different for you.
Love your racer. Be patient with them and extend grace. So many things are completely out of their control. They miss home like crazy and are somewhere unfamiliar. All. Of. The. Time. Remind them that you love them, are proud of them, and most importantly, that you’re covering them in prayer. They need it. The enemy doesn’t like what they are doing at all and he will attack them, again and again. Cover them in prayer. Go to battle for them. We serve a powerful God who is so much bigger than anything the devil tries to throw at them. Along those same lines, you both need to cover your relationship in prayer. The enemy doesn’t like to see godly couples with a heart to serve the Lord. He is going to try to drive a wedge between you. Don’t give him a foothold.
You’re going to miss the most ridiculous things. You’re going to grieve the fact that you get to eat his favorite food and he doesn’t. Then you’re going to rejoice when he finds it! You’re going to miss their goofy jokes. You’re going to miss instant communication. You’re going to miss “good morning” and “good night” texts. Let those things drive you into the Father’s arms. You’re safe there.
I have learned a lot of things this year. I’ve learned that the Lord does in fact give us more than we can handle. He gives us what it takes to send us running into his arms. He is a jealous God and a relentless lover. I’ve learned that you don’t have to be a missionary living out of a backpack to serve God. That is a wonderful calling but it’s not everyone’s calling. He called me to be a doctor, and to do that I had to stay home and finish school. Sometimes it feels like I’m not doing anything to further his kingdom by staying home and going to school. Another lie straight from the pit. It may not be immediately evident to you in the present, but if you are obedient to what the Lord has called you to do today, then you are being used to further his kingdom on earth. And finally, what I believe is the most important thing God has shown me this year is this: He is so faithful. He is faithful even when we are not. He stands there waiting for us to ask for help out of the pit into which we have allowed ourselves to fall. He dusts us off, gently reminds us who we are, and gives us the strength to keep walking.
Drew asked me what was easiest and what was hardest about this year. I would like to share my answers with you:
Easiest:
Counting down. I’m really good at counting. Jk, in all seriousness, relying completely on Jesus has been easiest. You have to rely on Jesus to get you through eleven months of missing someone you love. Supporting Drew. That’s as easy as breathing. This is something he felt called to do, wanted to do, and has totally loved. That’s exciting for me and brings my heart so much joy. It’s awesome watching the man I’m going to marry serve God and get to have an incredible adventure while doing it. Watching Drew grow has been incredible (interestingly, that’s been both easiest and hardest, I’ll get to why it’s hard in a minute).
Hardest:
The distance and difficulty in communication. It’s gotten easier since getting to South America (sometimes). With Internet sometimes scarce and time differences, adding in two pretty busy, and not always flexible, schedules finding time to actually talk was hard. There are two countries that stand out to me as the hardest: Zambia and Bolivia. There wasn’t any wifi where Drew was in Zambia and the internet they did have didn’t work very well. That just made the great wifi in Asia even sweeter. Bolivia was similar to Zambia, which made me appreciate it even more when they got to Chile. Sometimes I handled it ok and sometimes I handled it poorly. Those are the times that God’s grace bridged the gap. I’m incredibly blessed to have the most patient fiancé ever. Y’all, he’s awesome. But as awesome as he is, our God is even better and his grace is sufficient to make up for all of my shortcomings. I praise God that he sent his spirit to encourage Drew when my flesh got the best of me. I would encourage you to praise God for the opportunity to focus more completely on him when the internet situation isn’t good. Keep your eyes fixed on him. Watching him grow has been incredible but knowing that it is happening (has to happen) without me can be really hard. But Jesus. Once again, his grace is enough to cover my sin. The knowledge that God is using this year to make him more and more into his image is such a comfort. I know God is also using the lessons he has learned (and he has learned them so well) to prepare him for marriage.
Guys, we have a good, good Father. He works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. The race is good. It’s good for the ones we love and it’s good for us. We are human and we are prone to wander and place others in positions that should belong to only God. Don’t do it, they don’t make good gods. They make wonderful girlfriends/boyfriends/fiancés but not good gods. It’s not fair to them and it will wreak havoc on your heart. And that, my friends, is exactly what the enemy wants. Let your race remind you who God is to you and let him use the year to grow you in your faith and knowledge of him.
The World Race. Medical school. Planning a wedding. It has been quite a year and one of the hardest years of my life. It has also been one of the sweetest years. The Lord is good and he meets us at our weakest and carries us when we think we can’t do it anymore. He is a good, good Father.
“…If I have You, there’s nothing missing
Brought me to life, made it worth living…
I’m ruined, I’m wrecked
And I can’t go back
No, I can’t go back
To the way it was before You…”
-“I Am Blessed” by Dara Maclean
