We all have hopes. We all have desires that sometimes don't seem realistic, but we dream anyway; building up an amazing picture in our heads of what life will look like when we finally reach this moment. For some, it's a college, career, marriage, kids, or even traveling the world to share the love and truth of God. Everything will be perfect when this begins.
I don't know how or when it happens, but somewhere along the way, that thing we dreamed of begins to fall short of our expectations. It loses its sparkle, or to be more accurate, we start taking for granted the very thing we wanted. Yes, I know it's usually referred to as a 'seven year itch', but the Race can be described as a "pressure cooker" of sorts, and it's the same story. The Race, the travel, the work becomes normal everyday life and you forget to focus in on all the beauty and life happening around you in exchange for frustrations and dissatisfaction. You're over squatty potties and sweating non-stop. Your team mates have seen and called out the worst in you multiple times and vice-a-versa. Their quirks that used to make you laugh start to get under your skin.
This dissatisfaction and frustration sneaks up on us: silently and slowly stealing our joy. Maybe it starts when, on your third travel day that week, your month-long sickness is combined with car sickness and you spend the night blowing your nose into a sock and throwing up in a grocery bag. Maybe it's when you wake up to your team mates phone in your face so she can show her family on Skype how you sleep. Maybe it's heightened by the fast approaching holidays and homesickness that follows, or trying to evenly divide up wifi time (a precious thing) between six people who haven't talked to their families in too long. Oh, or as you realize that your "alone time" is now defined as any time you have your eyes closed and ear buds in.
With more free-time over the week of Christmas, all these frustrations began to surface. That is, until I received an e-mail from an amazing friend…
"Don't worry, you'll be home before you know it!"
Crud.
Yeah, I will.
The holidays still brought on homesickness big time, things still frustrate me as I live and work and eat and breathe with the same people twenty-four/seven! But the fact is, even if I come back in the future to work and serve with any of these amazing people we have met, I won't have this time or season again. I won't have this team; this family. I won't be able to swap stories with Danielle about our crazy, quirky families. I won't be able to laugh to FRIENDS or finish the Psych intro song for Bekah. I wont be able to look over at Saraya when I'm having 'a moment' and see that look that tells me she knows exactly what my telepathic message is saying. I won't have long walks, talks, and prayer time with Marge or Catherine. I honestly can't imagine not knowing these ladies after just six months together, and I don't know what I would do without them. They know me. The good and the bad. They've laughed and cried with me and never judge me for my dance parties of one.
This season is an absolute treasure, and I'm ready to reclaim my joy. I will still get frustrated… I mean, we're doing life together. I will still miss home some times, but I know this is where God's placed me and the only place I want to be.
When people are in mourning, you always hear, "this too shall pass," but they never warn you about that in the good times.
So here we go, starting month seven in beautiful Botswana where we will sweat our faces off, rejoice over toilet paper in public restrooms, pack, unpack, and repack in this never ending cycle, soak in the breathtaking moments and press into the not-so-pretty days. And I hope this relates to your season; whether you're in the same place on the Race, preparing to launch, waking up at 2am with a crying baby, or just going through another ordinary season in life. This too shall pass. Don't wish it away.
