I grew up in the church and did everything right. I went to Sunday school every time, attended Vacation Bible School (VBS), and even was in the church plays. Even when my father passed away I tried and be the perfect teenager for my mother by volunteering for VBS, going on mission trips, and attending youth events, even when I didn’t want to. Playing soccer would keep me busy and I didn’t want to do anything bad. I thought that if I put up a front for my mom that she would not be a worried single parent.
It was not until my second year in college that my life was not going right. My grades went downhill, I was too busy socializing, and I was not sure where my life was going. I was so tired of everything that I took time off from school and started to work at a daycare. I didn’t hit rock bottom until I was tired of acting like the perfect child for my mother and having peers say, “You’re such a goody”. That’s when I hit a certain age that I was able to drink and if I got caught I would not be in trouble.
I started to hang out with friends and party with them. I would lie to my mom when she would ask where I was going and who I was hanging out with. I would cover my tracks so there would be no slip in the cracks. My mom would not have to worry about anything.
There were times that I would attend church the next day after partying, so my mom would not think anything was up. I just wanted to protect my mom from any hurt from her past. The one time I felt that I disappointed my mom was when I was super hammered and couldn’t drive, so I asked her to pick me up. Just seeing her face when our eyes met broke my heart, and knowing soon that I was leaving for a mission trip.
You would think seeing her hurt that I would stop. However, I never did. I kept putting the front up for my mom and people at the church too. I would drink to hide any pain that I had faced with having a single mother, losing my father, not feeling love and just feeling lost in society. Drinking was the answer for me.
However, being on the World Race I have found the place where I belong. I am a daughter of God, I am loved by Him and most of all He has a plan for me. I am no longer hiding the fact that I am a Christian. Just to let you know, I am still far from perfect. I might make a mistake here and there, but I am still loved by my heavenly Father.
