I’m lucky I’ve lasted this long. I’ve heard that alot of people on the race feel this alot sooner, but I couldn’t imagine it ever happening to me. This week a moment came that I thought never would: I wanted the race to be over.
This new revelation all started when we were given a three day break earlier this week. Three of my friends and I went to Nairobi and we stayed in this really cute cottage. I even got my own room in the loft! It was amazing! After unpacking all my things I finally had some space and alone time that I hadn’t had in 8 months. It felt so good! I never realized how much alone time I take at home and how much I missed it until now. I had a taste of feeling permanent and it was amazing. I wanted it to last longer than three days. I just wanted to stay and not have to go anywhere for awhile. But thats not the race.
Lauren was sick when we first arrived and she went to the hospital. Later that night I started feeling under the weather too. I had terrible headaches, kept feeling hot and cold, coughing and felt like I was only using 1/3 of my lung capacity. I lost my appetite, wasn’t sleeping well and just felt exhausted. My whole body got stiff and sore, especially my neck.
There is nothing like feeling sick that makes you just want to be home in your own bed and have your mom take care of you. Luckily I had Danielle (who is a nurse back home and is one of the most amazing people I know) and she helped me navigate through all of this and made sure I took the right vitamins.
When it was time to go back to Eldoret, I had a five hour bus ride to just sit and think.
I thought about all the things I miss:
- My family and friends. People who really know me, my story and where I’ve come from
- My church and the different ministries I was involved in
- Playing on an amazing worship team and collaborating on a regular basis with a FULL band
- Carpet
- Driving a car (I haven’t driven since August. I miss it so much I could cry)
- Rocky – he’s the sweetest dog you’ll ever meet! He looks fierce but is such a baby and I love him!
- My room, guitar and piano
- The woods behind my house that I can’t wait to go for a walk in
- Being caught up with the latest movies (yes, I’m ashamed to say so, but its true)
- What I wouldn’t give to go for coffee or breakfast with some friends
- I also just missed my best friend’s wedding (thats the 5th or 6th wedding I’ll have missed while on the race)
I thought about how I’m tired of bouncy African roads, always having a stomach ache cause of all the fried food, feeling crowded and overwhelmed in the cities and having chickens run all around our yard (and one rooster is particularily ugly). I’m terrified of birds (mostly pigeons, turkeys and chickens) and I’ve gotten alot more used to them but they still freak me out on a daily basis. (And to top it all off, when I woke up this morning and went outside for breakfast only to see a goat by the sink with its throat slit and blood everywhere – its our dinner tonight. I haven’t been eating much over the last few days and this certainly didn’t help the situation.)
So as we’re driving along, I started to notice that the trees we were passing look alot like the ones in the surrounding area back home like in the Sandylands or on the way to Moose Lake where my family spends the summer. Then I smelled something that I realized that I’ve taken completely for granted my whole life: pine needles.
We have pine trees in our front yard and all around our house back home in Canada. I used to try to plant a new one every year when we’d get them in school and my dad would accidentally always drive over them with the lawnmower because I’d never show him where I planted them. I never realized how much I love the scent of pine needles. And here it is…in AFRICA of all places! All I could think was how sweet God is. He knew I was missing home and now I got a small piece of it. He knew it was exactly what I needed. What a surprise! I was so grateful. He was totally there for me when I needed it the most. But he wasn’t done yet.
I continued look out the window and saw that we were now passing an area thats close to the Great Rift Valley. It was gorgeous. A storm was coming in and the clouds were huge and dark. There was fog coming off the mountains and down into the valley. It was stunning. I’ve decided that the drive between Nairobi and Eldoret is one of the most beautiful drives you can ever take. Its so diverse! Mountains, farmland, green grasslands with zebras, those bonzai like trees, small villages, massive valleys and lakes. Sometimes you’ll even see monkeys running around and jumping in the trees.
So as much as I feel like I’m done or tired and sometimes I feel like I just want to be back home, I wouldn’t trade any of this, especially these breathtaking views and what God is doing in and through me, for anything. Its worth it. All of this is worth it.
But if you decided to send me a few extra prayers, I wouldn’t argue and I’d definitely be grateful.
