There is a beauty to the way the unseen sand pendulum of life swings in and out of seasons. Cutting through grains of earth to make designs out of a surface that once was blank. Organic and unknown the design made below can never be replicated. Unique to it’s own story, only directed by the hand that put it into motion. Sometimes it swings slow, other times it makes nauseatingly huge circles.
In one week I lost a good glassblowing friend of mine back at home and leadership on some of the teams stepped down resulting in an unexpected team change. Plans with my team “Spirit Dancers” to have more one on ones, to work out together, and to have more fun times were stopped. Our season was over. “Spirit Dancers” was only a two month season. That’s all we got, and there is no changing the ending.
Jeremy was my art friend. He was a loving and encouraging glassblower who always loved to smile. He had a great one. You should have seen it. You would agree with me. Being thousands miles away from my art community in a time of grieving is difficult. We are a family, just like every team I have been on.
In Nepal I started asking people a question “What is your favorite part of Nepal right now. Right this very second?” People would stop and take a deep breath in and look around. Pointing out the yellow house, the flower ten feet away, and sometimes a person with in the group. It’s so hard to live in the moment sometimes. More often then not the fear of unknown future seasons keeps us from seeking the unknown love in the present. It keeps us from feeling the deep emotions we could have for things and people around us.
I love, love. I absolutely love, love. My heart finds redemption and freedom from past experiences and fears for future experiences in my hopeful pursuit to understand love. Sometimes love hurts. Sometimes loosing things you love, grieving things you love, makes it feel like something else. But I am convinced the best kind of love is one that feels those things and honors the presence of those emotions.
Love is changing me. I don’t know a lot about love, but that’s why I find it comforting. Because, love heals, love feels, and love knows that seasons changing can be hard. Love also knows the hope for the next season.
God is changing me. I don’t know a lot about God, but that’s why I find God comforting. Because, God heals, God feels, and God knows that seasons changing can be hard. God also knows the hope for the next season. Because God is love… He is the hand that swung my life into motion and the wind that guides where I move.
