Cackles of laughter, from the neighbors down the street, pour through the parking lot. A small fire pit and a table rests in the driveway waiting for the time to pass to be used. The orange hues of the street light colors the pavement below with a strange sacred glow. Grass and curbs look like shadows and shapes. Shapes forming a picture just waiting for the light of day to illuminate their presence once again.
Everything waiting for the next moment to fulfill its purpose, it would seem. But right now, everything around me is providing a sense of serenity and comfort that I can’t seem to find anywhere else. A note worthy sense of home and belonging.
During the day my thoughts twist and turn in a million directions. I often question my state of being and if it is right or wrong. If I should be here instead of there. Thoughts roll around…
“Should I be (single, dating, married) at my age?”
“Should I go back to school?”
“Should I live in Texas one day? With no real plan of how to take care of myself?”
” Should I move to another country or fight for the salvation of my own rapidly digressing one?”
“Shouldn’t I have a well paying job right now?”
” Why was I born in this generation rather than an opposing one?”
God answers me with…
“You were born for such a time as this.”
The street light, giving life to the broken pieces of asphalt only centimeters big, seems to comfort these questions. The road doesn’t question why it is a road. The grass doesn’t know it’s short lifespan and temporary beauty. The chair I sit in doesn’t know that one day it will break. The logs in the unlit fire pit do not know their significance and importance to the next moments to follow. I don’t know my future. In this moment I belong.
Everyone is starting to pull up to the house and my friends are going to come out to light the fire. Everyone will start talking about life. All of the stories of past laughter and future plans will be told. But right now, in this very moment I belong where I am. I do not know my future and my past isn’t getting any closer. The Lord holds my past, present, and future in a sacred place. He has written my life so delicately. For that I am extremely blessed. I know where I will be a year from now. I will be held by the same God who holds me now. Guided by his mighty and loving hand. My Father of Love and Grace… wrote my story… now I watch it unfold.
Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
My Soul Cries
Father don’t forget me
My loves and desires
Without you
Becomes pain and agony
A burden too hard to carry
The love of my heart
Made too heavy to carry alone
a thorn in my foot
The burden to see the hurt
Hurt no more
My heart cries
I can’t carry this
You heard me speak
Father don’t forget me
In my weakness
My own love fools me
My own desires
Have once lead me astray
Father don’t forget me
When my prayers hit the ceiling of heaven
Echo in the halls of gold
and peel through the streets
Prayers of pleading
Prayers to be united with my Savior
This burden is too large
Too large to speak of
Father don’t forget me
Like a marble rolling under the bed
Search me out
So that I can be held once again
So I can feel the comfort
The warmth
The embrace
