Brothers,
God made you to lead, like it or not… That IS your position and you WILL step into it. If you have friends who say things like the following when making big choices re evaluate your peers:
“Do _____ for yourself, who cares what people say, who are they to judge you?”
“Show me a man with out sin, other than Christ, and I will change.”
“She is too complicated and has too many rules and boundaries. Go after a girl who is easier.”
Walk AWAY. FAR AWAY.
The first statement shows a heart of selfishness and ignorance to your role as a leader. Be ready to say no to anything and everything that may hinder you from leading younger boys and one day a family. EVERYTHING must be eliminated. An example of how you wish the younger men to act must be put in place. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not, it will happen, you will lead… So choose what direction you desire to lead in… For a heart of God or away.
The other statement is a pure lack of respect towards God, yourself, and the body of Christ. It is ignorant to Gods word. When you allow sin in your life you’re always allowing the consequences. Some are physical consequences, emotional, and often times the worst of all spiritual.
When looking for a partner, no man friend of yours should come between you and your deep search for a Godly woman. If it’s hard, GOOD. If the boundaries are difficult GOOD. If the wait is for marriage material, than you better tell your brothers as you walk away to read up and remember that this is the woman raising your kids, not just someone who will feed your ego.
A year ago I realized, with my life choice to go into ministry, I was going to one day be raising a family in the ministry environment. I took advantage of working for a campus ministry and feeding 60 students. I started asking college aged PKs (pastors kids) and MKs (missionary kids) questions about their experiences as a kid “trapped” in ministry life. I took intense notes and on my free time researched the development of children with the neglect it seemed these kids received.
“What is the hardest thing about being a pastors kid?”
All of them said the same things.
“My Dad was always so busy with other people”
“They were always so worn out by random people they didn’t listen to me.”
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8
How do you operate righteously in ministry with family, roommates, or a group God put in your life? Well your example is found in how Jesus walked with his disciples. It is important you analyze the Gospel for leadership skills. This is how you learn… Examples I found with Jesus and his followers…
He let them walk with him
They followed him into his work
He spoke wisdom into them
He ate with them
He called them out
He knew them
They were a unit. Much like family, roommates, or a church’s youth.
“Why are you focusing on dating and marriage when you can’t date?” you make ask… Well, it’s a perfect time for me to figure out my views on everything in life. No distractions, no weird emotions. Just plain simple , what do you think and what dignity and posture are you going to uphold in a world lacking Biblical knowledge. I have been working through all issues I have avoided most of my life, this is included in the bunch. Prior to this year the idea of most everything that puts a label on me had been avoided. But not all labels are bad.
