So I find myself at such peace here at debrief. These times in between 3 months of ministry are so welcomed, and so deserved. We rest, we relax. We enjoy each others company, and pour into one another by speaking life into each others hearts at where we're at on our journey. We also have the privilege of catching up with our squad leaders, and squad coaches during this time.
Like this purdy lady here! Me & Stacy (Alumni Squad Leader) catching up after she has been leading Q squad for the last 3 months- she got to come back for our month 8 debrief.
This season and this time is so big, so important. So crucial on the Race. You can feel it in the air. You can see it in every Racer's eyes, hear it in their voices as they speak. It became really real to us when Hope (our squad coordinator) gave us re-entry packets to start looking at last night.
We're down to the last trek of this journey. Here we are at the last 3 months of the Race, and I could fill this screen with stories & testimonies of what the Lord has been teaching me & speaking, but here is what I really want to share with you today. . .
There are moments here on the Race, opportunities that I have missed because of my attitude – last month was an example of that. Apathy struck me down this past month, and I had to battle the worst attitude I've had on the Race. I was always irritable, always frustrated. This frustration had little to do with our contacts or even our ministry. For some reason I just couldn't shake this month 8 funk.
We've been out here on the Nile for a few days now, and I have been searching my heart, listening intently to the Lord, and pondering my walk with Him, where I'm at, where I'm going. . why I came, what this has all been for. .
In past blogs I have referenced this as my "walkabout". It has been that for sure, and yet so much more.
These past few days I have learned something about myself that is simply beautiful. One of the main reasons I had been in this month 8 funk was not because of the contacts, the ministry, or even my team. The reason my heart was under such distress was because I did not have the right amount of intimacy my heart needed with the Lord. I was not able to get the amount of time with the Lord that my heart craved.
I discovered these past few days how much of a dependency I have upon the Lord, and how beautiful that really is. When I haven't spent time with Him or in His presence I become irritable, I become frustrated, I become scattered and unsure of many things around me and about myself.
To me this is a beautiful discovery that is a rag to riches story to my own heart. A "beauty found from beneath the ashes" . .
I have grown up so independent, so self reliant, and here I am 24 years old and I find myself truly leaning upon my beloved. . dependent solely upon Him & Him alone.
Today my heart is full & happy, and there is no place I'd rather be.
We had the joy of taking a boat ride on the Nile today where most of us found ourselves having one on one's catching up and speaking into one another's lives's Soon after we had the pleasure of being able to celebrate in one of our dear friends baptism in the Nile. Moments like these I look around at these faces, and I see Him. I see Him in them, and all around them. I feel Him all around me. . .
These moments they come & go so fast, and I intend to cherish each & every one. .
From a heart that is full & happy today I just want to say I love you all. All my supporters, all the people following my blogs. . friends & family whom I can't wait to see. . You made this community possible for me. These people have poured in so much and continue to do so daily. I've poured out, and I have the privilege to continue doing so today.
Many options are on the horizon for me & there are a few different things I am taking to the Lord to see where my next steps will be. I can't give details just yet, because it's simply not all hashed out yet, but be on the lookout for updates! There are some really exciting things the Lord is speaking to me and showing me for this next season of my life. . for the next part of this journey and life of adventure. .
I love you all
Dev
