My life began to make sense on April 16, 2015. This was the day I left the country, like left left — not to Canada or a one day visit to a Caribbean island — actually left the country to a short term missions trip to Guatemala. Before the trip my entire body filled with anxiety and it never felt real that I was actually going to be leaving Maine for a third world country (as I presume I will feel the exact same before I leave for this trip). Everything felt unreal, but the second we landed, my heart overfilled with joy. I looked at the country around me and knew that that was where I belonged. As the missions trip continued, I began to learn so much about the reality about the world, and the reality of myself, how little I knew and how much I could do.
On the 6th day, we traveled to Nascimento, an impoverished rural inland village. We traveled on the back of a truck and once the local children saw us, a huge group began following. One by one they fell back, except for one eight year old girl. She ran over a mile without shoes down the rocky dirt road in 107ºF heat. She was not turning around no matter what. In her eyes was complete dedication to reach us; she chased a truck of strangers who she believed could help her achieve a brighter future. I thought to myself, “I want to find something to be so dedicated to.”
Later, we found out her name was Malady. With her and a group of children, we gathered into a spinning circle and they all began singing. With the biggest smiles on their faces, they were chanting the words “vamos a la playa” over and over until we collapsed out of dizziness. The room radiated pure joy; joy like I had never experienced before; joy so euphoric that I smiled with such passion tears escaped my eyes. I kept replaying those words in my head, “vamos a la playa”: let’s got to the beach. I realized these girls, these hopeful, magnificent girls, will probably never go to the beach. The beach! Something so simple that I take for granted daily. They, in all honestly, might never leave their isolated village, let alone go to the beach. This was a defining moment in my life: a moment when I realized that I wanted to change these girls’ futures. Like Malady, I now have determination.
After this trip I went back to the U.S. and felt uneasy. I went home, but the home that I had lived in for the past 17 years, no longer felt like home. Back in Maine everything began to make sense. The life I had been so confused about started to make sense. I had never felt a strong connection to where I was from, I never made strong relationships, everything that was wrong began to all make sense. I felt a calling and knew before college I wanted and was supposed to take a GAP year and continue doing missions work.
Flash foreword and it’s senior year and this is when my life began to make no sense again because I lost sight of kinda everything. I become overwhelmed with the excitement of college and making new friends and becoming a new person creating myself living the college dream and the expectations of the world. I grew obsessed with the idea and completely lost sight of my dream of missions and ignored all of the signs God was throwing right in my face saying “HEY NO COLLEGE YET LISTEN TO ME GO DO MISSIONS”. Literally right in my face almost everyday and I completely ignored Him. I began drifting away from the Lord and focusing on the evils of the world. I applied to college expecting high results believing my criteria was over qualified and I had everything going for me, and honestly most people believed the same (I was Valedictorian, very high SAT scores, 4H, community service, 3 sport varsity athlete with 2 captain bands, MVP and Most Dedicated, Scholar Athlete 4 years in a row ect… not trying to brag but with these I believed I would get in) and then wait for it, college decisions come out anndddddddddd…….
I got denied from each school that I applied to. Ouch. I cried for days, wait a minute, weeks, even months after. I thought I was just an idiot who was worthless and had no reason. I felt like I was a failure. After crying and thinking everything over, I knew that this was the Lord really making it known that my calling was to do missions. If I had been accepted, I would have gone instantly and never even thought about doing my missions again, completely drop that passion. I knew that this was his plan, but at the time was scared to share this with anyone, until I found World Race.
I looked into this program and I fell in love with it, I knew that this was the Lords plan for me.. yeah the thing I had figured out in April 2015 that I kinda ignored in 2016 — good job Desi — but I applied very late, and honestly have very little credentials for a program like this. I am a 18 year old girl from very rural Maine with almost no experience with anything in the real world, but I do have a very strong love for Jesus. I prayed and prayed and finally I heard back and I had been accepted into this program, something I had never expected. They had no reason to accept me, other than this is truly the plan that God has for me. So many expected me to go to college and do the common stereotypical thing, but I decided I would listen to God and follow his plan. I know big things are going to come out of this trip and many people find me insane for it but I could not be more excited.
I originally planned to leave in August, but with the time crunch I decided to leave in October to give me more time to fundraise, SOMETHING I REALLY WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP WITH. Please pray about it but if you feel called to donate towards my trip please please please do. This trip is going to be your work being done just I will be the proxy in the place. You may not have the opportunity as in no time/ability to but you do have the ability to donate. Stay tuned for more updated on Desi’s trip! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!
