Out of all the rules that my mother could have made for me before I moved out from my parents house for the first time in 24 years and starting living all across the world for 11 months, she only made one. And if I broke that rule, she might disown just me. But let’s be honest, I’m my mother’s favorite (youngest) daughter so she could never disown me, right? 😉
Her one rule for me was that I was not able to find someone overseas, fall in love with him, and want to get married.
Well mom, I know you would never disown me but it happened. I broke that rule. I went overseas. I lived in India for a month. It was there that I saw someone in a different light and thought of him in a whole new way. And we got married… But I PROMISE, you are going to LOVE him 🙂
I dated a boy for six years. I thought I was going to spend forever with him. We had life planned out. There was no reason for any other guy in my life.
Then suddenly things ended and since then, I have constantly struggled with thinking of guys becoming more as soon as we become friends. “Hmm, I wonder what life would be like if he is the man I’m suppose to marry” I thought over and over these past two years.
After giving my heart away to one guy for so long, I was so invested in who the next person that was going to hold it would be. But in reality, he was literally right in front of me since day one.
Life doesn’t stop while you’re on the race even though you’re gone from home for a year. Since this struggle followed me around the world, I thought I would listen to what the Lord had to say about it. So last month, I started a devotional called “Listening To God.” The very first day’s topic was called “Hearing God’s Voice.” After talking about different ways that God speaks to us, our final thing to do was to listen to a song called “Yield My Heart” by Kim Walker-Smith. Funny thing is that even though it wasn’t on the list, one way I really hear God speak is through songs.
While sitting there and listening to the words, I started to enter a new space. I had experienced the most extravagant vision that the Lord has ever given me.
There I was, dressed in the most beautiful gown, dancing in the middle of an empty dance floor in this grand ballroom. Dancing with me was this man that with just one look, you could tell that there could never be anyone that could ever love me as much as he does. And as his face become more and more clear, this man was none other than Jesus.
“I am one with you, nothing in this world could ever keep me from you”
“Nothing could ever separate me from your love”
As both of these lyrics rang through my ears, I realized that we were dancing for the first time as husband and wife at our wedding reception.
Over the past two years since I gave my life back to him, Jesus has been the most incredible father. He has let me run into his arms, he has guided me into the right direction for my life, he filled me joy, and he has loved unlike any other father loves his little girl.
And now he wants to be my husband. He wants to be the only man in my life, he wants to fill my heart, he wants me to experience love like no other love. He wants me to discuss every issue in my life before making a decision, whether it is financial or recreational topics. He wants to take care of me. He wants me to realize that he has been the one who has been invested in holding my heart for my whole life.
November 12th, 2016 I said, “I do” to the Lord.
“From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home.”
Having Jesus go from being my father to my husband been a hard transition but I know that getting married to him for this next season in my life is exactly what I need. I can’t wait to see what life is going to look like, even if it does get hard after the honeymoon phase.
