I know I haven't written on this site for awhile, but tonight I wrote something that I wanted to share and wanted to make sure to include all of my subscribers in it. It is my testimony. I have been home for 9 months now from the Race and it has been a journey in and of itself. God has been teaching me about boundaries and creating a root structure, about what it looks like to follow Him on U.S. soil and how to manage my life as a "Christian". But, today, I wanted to share my testimony with you. Plain & Simple. I hope you read it and don't forget to check out my new site www.desirethedawn.com! I will be posting new songs and music I am working on there frequently as well as blogs and pics and all that stuff.
And without further adieu…
In a nut-shell, God has stolen my heart and transformed my life. I like to think He has given me brain and heart surgery. But it was a process to get here. And I am still healing from the wounds of the world. See, I grew up in the middle of two conflicting religions and was very confused about God and His role in my life. I always believed that there was a God but all I had seen was the religious side of things. In my mind "God" had caused me pain, tension, and turmoil, and in my teens and early 20's I was not ready to have much to do with Him.
However, in my early years I was taught to pray and when I got to those points of desperation in my life, I did just that. Sometimes slowly but sometimes quickly, God began to come through for me. I remember one time praying for a true friend, a simple prayer, and God brought me one. Then I remember in a desperate prayer seeking a sign, and one came to my door the same day. My prayers were being answered and my faith was increasing. By age 25 I was convinced that there was a God, and though I was still unsure of exactly who He was and what He wanted from me I was ready to try, and that is ALL IT TOOK!
During this time my heart began to desire things that were contrary to what the world told me to want. I was supposed to want a boyfriend, a husband, a great job, and a white picket fence. But I wanted none of it! Instead a desire welled up inside of me to travel and do volunteer work. It was during this search that I found a crazy journey called the WR that took its participants to 11 countries in 11 months serving in various parts of the world, working in orphanages, teaching English, and preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can learn more about this mission @ www.theworldrace.org. At first when I found it I thought it was too extreme for me, but after six months I was convinced that I needed to at least apply.
I was dead honest in my interview. They asked me about my past, questioned me about my faith, asked very deep & personal questions, and I told them EVERYTHING. After my interview I thought, "That ought to scare them off." Much to my amazement I was accepted to the World Race as a participant in WR January 2013 P-Squad. Wearily, I told God that I would give Him the year to prove Himself to me, completely unsure if I was throwing my life away or finally figuring it out. Turns out it was the latter and what ensued was a year of having the Love of God overcome me and transform me from the inside out. I was in places and doing things that I had never even dreamed of, all the while bringing hope and encouragement to a lost and dying world. I was overwhelmed, and falling in love with this being called God. I learned that the Bible is a story of Love. A story of God creating us for relationship alone and of us doubting and rejecting Him, but Him still pursuing us. I learned that Jesus Christ was and is the ultimate expression of His love and that Jesus was Him literally coming down in human form and taking our sin upon Himself.
In Cambodia I felt a nudge welling up inside of my heart. God was calling me to surrender. He was telling me, "You gave me a year to prove to you who I am. Now how about a lifetime?" I was overwhelmed in His presence and said yes to my Abba Father. I told Him I would live for Him and follow Him all the days of my life, even after I got home. It was July 20, 2013. I arrived home on December 6, 2013 and since then I have been learning about what it looks like to follow Him on U.S. soil. It has not been an easy journey but God continues to woo me and show me more and more about who He is and what He has for me and the rest of this world.
I may not know a lot about life, and I may not be the smartest or the prettiest or the best at anything I do. But I do know three things for sure about this life.
1. God is Love.
2. He gave Himself in the form of His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us.
3. All we have to do is believe and accept Him to begin the most beautiful relationship this life has to offer.
I pray that my testimony imparts faith into your spirit to continue in, or even begin a relationship with this being called God.
You won't regret it.
