So… I guess I haven’t written a blog in a while. One reason is that I got robbed and haven’t had a laptop. (By the way I am writing this on my new 2009 Macbook Pro. Praise God and thank you to those of you who donated to me 
) But another reason is because I have been waiting on God. Waiting for the quiet whispers and promises he has been speaking to me to come into fruition, and they have. This parent week blew my mind. Forever I am sold out for Jesus. The way he redeems and saves and heals and plans it all for us is just amazing. I could write a book about this week, and maybe someday I will, but for now I will choose to talk to you about a concept that I feel God has been speaking to me about lately.
Coming on the Race and getting into the culture of it we talk a lot about healings and miracles and all these things that Jesus did in the Bible. Coming on the Race I had the expectation that I was going to see some crazy stuff similar to that and that we were going to be walking around praying for people. Ya know… healing the sick, raising the dead, and all that. And we did a lot of that. Well, at least we prayed for it. I even got close to a few healings in India. But after 4 months of praying incessantly for things like this to happen I was exhausted spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I had hit a wall, and to be completely honest I was upset with God for not answering my prayers.
Little did I know that God had a greater plan in all of it, and as I was praying for things like that to happen God was working on a part of my own heart that needed healing. It was the part of my heart that loves people and sees them how God does. Before the Race if you asked me if I was good at loving people I would have said yes. However, now looking back I can see that while I did love people, I didn’t love them in the same way that God does. I didn’t have love that was unconditional and fearless. I was afraid; afraid of rejection, afraid of failure, and afraid that I was not good enough to be loved. The bible even talks about this. 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in his love.”
I have come to realize that no matter what it is, God does things and facilitates life in such a way that it makes sense. And like a perfect father, even when we don’t agree or can’t see it at the time, his way is always best. Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” God has proven this verse to me over and over again this year. As I have looked back and seen what has happened around me and inside of me and even back home I can see his hand at work and I am amazed. I am in awe of his vastness and power and ultimately his love. His love is so high, so deep, and so wide and stretches beyond the limits of time and space and what we as humans can fathom.
So put your trust in God. Ask him to heal your heart and begin to love him in the same and an even better way than you would love your own Dad. Throw away the trust and faith you have put in institutions and the people around you, because God is your father. He wants to love you and make plans for life with you. Call on the name of Jesus and he will answer your cry. He will rescue you from whatever is ailing you and restore your soul. Jeremiah 31:33 says, "This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time," declares the LORD. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
What this is talking about is the Holy Spirit. Each one of us who calls on and believes in the name of Jesus gets this thing called the Holy Spirit, and it is the power of Christ within us. It is the same power that raised Christ from the dead and we get it. Pray for Jesus to come into your heart, and use his power to love others, to mend your own broken heart, to drive out all the fear that has been holding you back and to get the life that you always wanted. God may even activate and put new desires and passions in your heart you didn’t even know you had. And remember that like anything else, it is a process. I am not claiming that everything will magically be better; that you will wake up in the morning completely healed and changed. God may ask you to take some pretty crazy leaps of faith that will be scary and painful, but over time with continued faith and trust God will perform miracles in your life. I am a living example of his miracles. And as I have sought after miracles like healing the sick and raising the dead and been frustrated in this process God has revealed to me that he has performed both of these miracles inside of me. I was sick and in need of healing and he healed me. My life was dead and is now full and alive.
And if you ask me, a healed heart is better than any physical healing out there, because a healed heart keeps giving and giving. It spreads life and love to everyone it meets. With Christ, you have the power to spread the healing and life giving power of God. His love is strong enough to conquer death, and he is waiting to claim you as His own.
(And with all of that said I am still praying that I get to see some crazy awesome instantaneous miracles at some point)
Keep truckin' y'all… Love… Dez 
