The first thing I remember being told about our ministry last month when we arrived was to “take rest.” Uncle and Suboss (the headmaster and his father) were pleading with us to rest and to not stretch ourselves. I think they must have sensed on some level what we were coming out of from India, because they were pretty adamant that we were to take things slowly for the month. This was just what we (team Re-bound) needed to hear and what we had been praying for all month. India had been amazing, but it had left us spiritually, emotionally, and mentally drained. We kept talking in team times about needing to be "filled up" and to rest. When we arrived and heard these words from Uncle and Suboss it was seriously as if they had conspired with God and knew exactly what we had just been through, and exactly what we needed.
I remember being incredibly relieved and grateful. On the first day of ministry I had this strange and euphoric sense of peace come over me. It was an assurance and a comfort that we were going to get the rest we needed and spend some good time getting to know each other and God. That we were simply going to soak in his presence and the presence of each other. I was so happy, and so excited for what was ahead. Then, the very next day, I remember a completely different feeling of panic coming over me. A feeling that said, "No, that is not what God has for you in this ministry. You are not doing enough. You don't deserve this and it is too good to be true." Doubt was creeping in, and looking into the eyes of my teammates I could see it was not settling in for them either. We were feeling guilty that we were not busting our butts from dusk ‘til dawn. We were waiting for Uncle and Suboss to crack the whip and say, "okay, it's time to man up, we've got some souls to save around here." Finally, Porky, sensing the spiritual and emotional climate in the air, gathered us up as a team and said that we needed to stop stressing out about what we were or were not doing and to believe what they were saying to us. That we needed to accept this season of rest because that is what it was going to be and what God had for us. It was not easy to believe. I struggled with feelings of guilt and several times had to give them to God and remind myself to trust him, even though I didn't know what the point of all we were doing was. Thank you Porky!
I find it funny how quickly and easily we humans doubt and question the promises that the Lord gives us. How at the end of the day and even with genuine words that assure us of the truth we revert back to disbelief and fear. Even when we are given a promise by God we still doubt it and take matters into our own hands. Prophets of the Old Testament such as Abraham doubted and acted contrary to what God had promised them. Abraham was promised to be the father of many nations and was told that he and Sarah would have a son, yet he still took matters into his own hands by sleeping with his mistress and having a son on his own accord. We (team Re-bound) just like Abraham had heard Uncle and Suboss and what the Holy Spirit was speaking over us but were still not believing that this was a genuine offer. We were waiting for something to change and for this offer to fall through. However, God is not a God of disappointment. He always delivers on his promises.
This is how I have been behaving with my fundraising. See, as I made the choice to come on the Race I knew and felt God speaking to me that he had my finances and that I did not need to worry about money. I remember calling my mom super excited one day that I felt this sense of peace over my finances and felt it was from the Lord. I knew that I was going to have to give most of my savings account to this and that I was probably going to come home broke. I accepted this and made peace with the idea. However, as I have been waiting for funds to come through there is this lie that keeps trying to tell me that God will not deliver and that I will be scratching and clawing to be fully funded, and I refuse to believe it. I am writing right now to declare truth over that lie and to say that I am ready for God to show up and fulfill this promise, as he sees fit.
Many of you have supported me up to this point, and I cannot tell you how eternally grateful I am to you. I have been amazed and humbled at your generosity and how you have listened to what God has placed on your heart to give me. I am not asking you for more money or for anything financially. I am simply asking for you to partner with me in prayer this month. As it stands, I am $3,845 short of being fully funded and I need to be fully funded by June 31st. So in short, I need a miracle. As many of you know, I have been trying to sell my truck all year and it just has not happened yet. From the start I have felt God saying that my beautiful purple toyota I have had since I was 18 was going to be part of the deal and I was going to have to give it up. For those of you who have known me for a while you know that I have had this truck for nearly a decade and am very emotionally attached to it. Despite this, I am willing to contribute whatever I get off of it to the Race.
So if you all can pray for me that my truck will sell this month I would super appreciate it. And if it happens to be to a blonde girl that I sell the truck to I will be even more super excited. It belongs to a girl anyway. It's purple. 🙂
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Amen.
