Right now I am in the middle of reading a book many of you have probably heard about. It is by Rick Warren and is called The Purpose Driven Life. Great read for those of you looking for spiritual and emotional growth. A good friend of mine got it for me for my birthday. Today the topic was love and relationships. The chapters point was that the number 1 thing that God wants for us (other than a relationship with Him) is that he wants us to have supportive, loving relationships with people in our lives here on earth. Now many of you might not know this but the way I grew up was not inside of one of these and I have had very few examples in my life of what this looks like to learn from. Many times I have questioned whether or not I will ever be able to achieve what I have seen so many others fail at (and what I have failed at) so many times before.
See in my last close, gut wrenching, relationship everything was a drama. We couldn't eat dinner without some emotional turmoil revealing itself and then we would exhaust the night dealing with it. (Tragic right?) So after that relationship ended I decided on a tactic that I hadn't tried before. See I hate fighting with a passion. Anger (especially my own) scares me more than anything so I made a vow to myself that I would never fight again with someone I loved. (Naive right?) What this has resulted in is a sort of avoidance of dealing with any and all emotion. I figured that if I never admitted to how I was feeling then I would never have to fight. But God has been speaking to me, telling me that this is not what He wants from me, and that I can do much better than that. God wants us to overcome our emotions and not be victims to them.
I remember a conversation I had with my little brother about a year ago. We were talking about his beliefs and my beliefs and I mentioned something to the effect of, "as long as it feels right what we are doing then it's okay." He quickly corrected me and said that our emotions are not of God and we should not use them to guide us in our dealings, especially in our relationships. Our emotions can be rash and uneasy and easily manipulated by others and especially by Satan. God doesn't want us to feel insecure, sad, alone, or depressed. Those emotions are from somewhere evil and not of God.
This is what I am learning about love as well. True love, though some of it is a feeling, is a choice. A choice to keep loving even though we are pissed ore irritated or hurt or offended. God doesn't want us to fight, but unfortunately because of the environment and the world we live in we will. It is the choice we make to move forward from it, stronger and more in love, that defines our love. So if you are in a relationship like this that is suffering because of your emotions (that are not of God), cut them out, give them to God, and choose to be strong and powerful and to love. That is what He wants.
