In my blog, End of Me PART 1, I talk about how God likes to
bring us to a place of brokenness where we have to completely depend on him to
continue to grow. I learned another reason God likes to bring me to the “end of
me.” It is often the best time that he can teach me something very important.
Often times we don’t listen to him because we are running on our own and he has
to get us to the point where all we really can do is listen to him. In my
brokenness I hear God very clearly.
Last night when I was breaking down and feeling overwhelmed
with all the pressures I kept telling Michael, my husband, “I just want to fly.
I just want to fly away and be free.” He so sweetly decided to join me on my
imaginary journey and said, “Where do you want to fly to?” I hesitated for a
little bit. I realized that I didn’t really even know. I guess I wanted to fly
through the clouds and over the ocean, but it didn’t seem like that is what I
really wanted. I started to wonder why I didn’t feel free. I mean, I got
married to my best friend, quit my cooperate American job, got rid of my possessions,
and am traveling the World for a year. What more freedom can I ask for? Why is
it that I was able to do everything that I thought would give me “freedom” and
still not feel like I am flying? God VERY
CLEARLY answered my questions about this. He said, “Your idea of freedom is on human
terms. There is nothing supernatural about this freedom you tried to create.
Anyone who had the opportunity to travel the world for a year could feel free.
The freedom that I am talking about in scripture is the kind that you can feel
like you are flying even if you are chained up in prison.”
There are many times in the bible when the disciples are put
in prison because of their faith. In
Acts 16 Paul and Silas are put in prison because of their faith. Verse 25 says,
“About
midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other
prisoners were listening to them.”
The book of Philippians is a letter written by Paul to the
church in Philippi. Paul writes this letter while he is in prison. There are
also other books in the bible that are written while in prison. But if you look
at the book of Philippians, Paul has so much joy. He is rejoicing in the Lord
and has so much love. He talks about how his strength is in the Lord and that
his confidence does not lie in the things that will just fade. He is so certain
of the power of Christ in his life that he feels like he is flying even while
chained up in prison. In 1 Peter, Peter talks about how knowing Jesus is an “inexpressible
joy.” I find more and more scripture where followers of Christ seem to go
through hell and back and they some how are filled with this supernatural hope
and joy.
Christ. The kind where I can sing joyful songs to the Lord even in the worst
situations. It is a freedom beyond our grasp and ability to create it on our
own, but he wants to give it to us. I believe in the complete power of him in
my life and it is the power that can make me fly even if I am at a job I don’t
like, or living in the same old routine, or chained up in prison. He wants to
make YOU fly in freedom where ever you are, because the hope he gives surpasses
it all. It truly is an inexpressible joy. It cannot be intellectually debated
or made up. Once you experience it you can never go back.
