My three months in Africa were hard. This news surpises no one (if it does feel free to read this blog post to get filled in). The last few weeks I was in Ghana, I was dreaming to be anywhere else. I was tired, constantly dirty, covered in bug bites, and ready for a change. I thought coming to Europe would be that change. I mean, if you look at it on paper, its kinda like America. The food is more familiar, the weather is more comfortable, and let’s face it, the chance of Malaria is MUCH lower.
Europe was the Promised Land I was waiting for. I stood on the side of the desert after going through struggles ready for the land of milk and honey (can you get the image that I was ready?). I thought I was entering a land and a season of bliss and happiness where there was no room for worry. I got off the plane in Podgorica, Montenegro feeling like the world was my oyster again and anything could happen.
I spent the first few days of my debrief really slowing down, relaxing, and enjoying my new found “freedom”. After a week of debrief with my squad, my team and I headed out to out ministry site for the month. Now this month looks a little different than most, this month my team is doing Unsung Heroes. The purpose of Unsung Heroes is to find people serving their communities and bringing Christ’s light and love to their neighborhoods and discuss the possiblity of AIM partnering with them in the future. We felt the Lord call us out of Montenegro and to Mostar, Bosnia so I packed my bag, that felt heavier than ever, got on a bus, and went to Bosnia.
The first few days in Mostar were kind of a blur. We settled into our Air BnB, got the lay of the land, and went out trying to make contacts. We met an incredible priest who invited us to his church and out to coffee after mass that night. I felt so good about everything. We were making contacts but more important than that, we were making relationships.
But, as always, the honeymoon phased ended and I had to realize my new reality. After a few days of being in Mostar, we hit a ministry dead end. Most people we were meeting and speaking with either had no idea of existing ministries, looked at us like we were crazy for wanting to help people, or told us to go to Sarajevo, Bosnia. Unfortunately for us, there is another team doing UH already in Sarajevo so that was not an option for us.
I got back to our apartment that night frustrated.
I thought this was supposed to be different. I thought it was supposed to be better. But I am in this same place again; a new city where I don’t know anyone, ministry isn’t what I thought it would or should be, am I making any bit of difference? Things were supposed to be different yet they are the exact same. Yes, the food is better and I’m not dripping in sweat every time I walk out the door, but I’m still not home.
But God (someone who I love very much once pointed out to me the sheer awesomeness of this phrase because God always has something better to say), had something better to say:
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonais 5:18
This is exactly where God wants me to be. God planned it, orchestrated it, and is continuing to watch over it.
While Europe may feel like a breath of fresh air, it is not the end of the Race. Even final debrief at the end of month 11 in Malaysia is not the end of the race. My race is my life. My life with Him doesn’t have a finish line but thankfully it does have water breaks (and snack breaks too if you’re in Europe). So no, I have not entered the Promised Land but I believe that time will come. It won’t be whenI get off the plane and see my family, it wont be when I hug my boyfriend again, it won’t be when I get to sleep in my bed again. It’ll be when Jesus meets me at the gates of heaven and says “Good job [and welcome home] my good and faithful servant”.
