I’m not really sure how I got here. One day before launch. My bags are packed (almost….after multiple tries) and I leave in the morning for launch in Atlanta. The last few weeks … months…have flown by, yet somehow dragged on. Was Training Camp yesterday or a year ago? Did I really just quit my job and move to Florida 6 months ago?
And then I look over the last few weeks. I could think about all the opportunities I missed, all the days I just stayed locked up in my room, the snappy comments and remarks, the senseless anxiety and tears. I could dwell on the missed moments with friends and families or times I could have told just one more person about the Race and God’s love.
But that would be senseless. And it would only take away from the good things.
I would rather think about the blessed moments I have had that have made the Race so much more special.
I want to focus on a Thanksgiving and Christmas spent surrounded by family.
I would rather remember the beautiful commissioning service and prayers prayed over me by my church family.
There are always the wonderful meals and foods people keep giving me (though I do not want to think about the 10 pounds I have found since training camp ….warning future racers).
I want to focus on month-and-a-half-early birthday parties and trips to the zoo.
I would even rather think about praise songs ending in hours of tears when my entire family was together for the last time for a year.
And as much as I cherish all of these moments in my heart, and want to spend as much time as possible soaking them up, I know that starting tomorrow, I have to stay in the present as well.
I can’t focus on the missed graduations, births of nieces, weddings, and moments that I will miss at home. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to hear about all of the lives I leave behind, but I cannot spend another minute sitting in what-ifs and should-haves. So from this moment on, I vow to live in the present, to soak up every single thing happening around me! I promise to not regret a single minute of my race. And even on the dark days when all I want to do is book the first flight home and never look back, I will do my very best to keep this promise.
And please help me! Help me feel like I’m not missing a thing. Email, Facebook, and iMessage me whenever you normally would. I may not get any of it until I have wifi, but I will get them and celebrate with you, cry for you, or just live your life right alongside you from the other side of the world. Pray for my teammates and I, that we let God completely use us, so that in a year we can say we did every last thing He asked us to do.
Finally, a thank you. Thank you for getting me here. Thank you for listening to me gush, and freak out, and cry, and snap. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Thank you for getting me fully-funded before launch. Thank you for helping me answer the call of the Holy Spirit.
I’ll see you all in Honduras!
