“Do you have any credit cards?”
No.
“Do you have any assets?”
Nope.
“Anything of value?”
Not really.
And that is when the lawyer preparing my Power of Attorney looked at me like I was crazy. Of course, this made me momentarily judge myself.
It isn’t that I do not like having things, I just have never been able to justify buying a lot of them. You know those shoppers who walk into a store, knowing exactly what they want, and can buy it and leave? Well, I am not one of those shoppers. Most people despise shopping with me. I go in knowing what I want, and if I cannot find it exactly, I leave. If I do find what I want, I look at the price. What else could I buy with this money? How many times can I use this item? Then, I have to check other stores and online to see if I can find it at a better price. If the item makes it into the cart, I have to mull it over. Making it into the cart does not guarantee the item make it out of store. Many times, after a lap or two, the buyer’s remorse forces me to put the item back.
Sometimes I wish I was a quick-decision, instant gratification shopper. My sister is one of those shoppers. She can walk into a store for ten minutes and leave with the equivalent of 6 months of shopping distress for me. During my pre-teaching anxiety days, she walked me into a mall, picked out 4 outfits for me, and we left in a half hour – a task I had been trying to accomplish all summer. Shoes are her weakness (or perhaps her strength). She has this one absolutely gorgeous pair of shoes. As I slipped on those red-bottomed beauties, all I could think about was everything else I could buy with that money. I don’t tell you this to accuse my sister of anything (I wish I had those shoes); this is not her particular cross to bear and she works incredibly hard for what she has. But it is my burden. I wish I could buy extravagant things, or even regular things, without this process. But I can’t. This is one area in which the Spirit convicts me time and time again.
So no, I do not have stuff. I do not have anything of value to leave to anyone in the event of my demise. I do not have any credit cards. Judge away, Ms. Lawyer.
“Wow, I’m really impressed. I maxed out my first credit card at 18. I don’t know how you do it.”
Impressed? She doesn’t think I’m crazy or irresponsible? She’s impressed that I have nothing?
We all have our crosses to bear, but it is not in vain. This lawyer is a great woman with a wonderful family, but they are not believers. They know all about my trip, and don’t really understand why I would give everything up for a year. She doesn’t understand that I happily have nothing. But perhaps, through my inability to shop and own nice things and in my desire to live out of a backpack for a year, God will be revealed. A person does not give up everything for nothing. God may have planted a seed of thought. “There is something more here. She doesn’t live this ridiculous lifestyle for nothing.”
So live ridiculously for God. Live a radical life so people look at you and say, “Why would they do that?” Give God the opportunity to step in and say, “They do it for Me.”
I will continue to bear any cross that will help me to also bear fruit.
