I know that it has been a while since I have blogged and there are some of you out there that have been sitting at the edge of your seat waiting to hear these very words: I AM FULLY FUNDED!
Um, Holy Smokes! Can I get a hallelujah?
As you can probably imagine, this blessing has absolutely rocked my world. Through this incredible miracle God has continued to erase my personal independence and my constant state of worry while boosting my faith to levels I could never dream of on my own. You may have previously read in a few of my past blogs about how the Lord has been stripping me of everything I thought I was so cemented in (myself) and sky rocketing His supreme authority over every inch of my being. He has recently brought some extreme clarity into my life and I want to do my best to hand you my form of explanation.
I want you to grab my hand and walk with me as I tell you the testimony of what God has done in my life in the past 7 days. As some of you may know, back in February I was technically fully funded. It was such a blessing to not have to worry about raising support any longer so that I could put my focus more on what the Lord had for me. Then in the middle of last month I received the news that the money had disappeared from my support account and I was now in need of $4200.00 by the end of March. PANIC! I do not even think that I can convey to you in words how it felt to see that donation no longer in my support account. I felt defeated, angry and confused. I did not understand why God would allow this to happen. After my teammates, whom I love and adore, spoke some much needed truth into me, I began to see that I do not need to know why God does what He does…but to remember that EVERYTHING works together for His good. And as the Lord continued to reveal those things to me and rip away my self-reliance, I realized there is nothing I could do now but have FAITH in the UNSEEN.
It was on the beach in Malaysia just 3 days before the support deadline when I finally expressed to God that if He wanted me to go home I would go only because I want to be in His will for my life, even when it is not what I want for myself. It was also during this time when I knew that there was absolutely nothing that I could do to make that money appear in my account and that worrying about it was not going to get me anywhere. Feeling the peace of the Lord rush over me, 3 days later I found myself telling my testimony to my squad-mate… when God proved His faithfulness to me once again by fully funding me on the day I needed it.
“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me, your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.” Psalm 138:8
God has taught me that the one reason why I worry so much is because I used to think that I could do things better than He could. Translation: worry stems from self-reliance…and where there is self-reliance there is a lack of faith. If my faith is in the Lord and He is unlimited I don’t need to have faith in anything else. Satan will throw snares of panic in my path but our Father is in control of every inch of my life. We do not need to worry about anything when we rely on God for everything.
As I continue to recognize the unbelievable blessings He continues to pour into my life, I can’t help but wonder how He is moving in the lives of those around me. The Lord so sanctifies those who fall into the arms of His son and I want to dare to ask: how far are you falling? Who do you prefer to have complete faith and reliance in? Would you rather look to Him or yourself for guidance? What reward can you offer yourself that God couldn’t knock out of the park?
