3 days after I received the acceptance call for the world race I got hurt and I've been battling it for a month now. I'm an athletic guy who enjoys physical activity, so not being able to do anything but lay around is not fun. It hurts to do basic life – standing, sitting, brushing my teeth, washing dishes, and some days just putting socks on is impossible. I didn't hurt myself riding my brakeless bike full speed in traffic or running down a steep mountain. If I did I'd still be bummed, but it'd make sense. However, I'm not fully sure how I got hurt.
What am I to do in this situation?
Be thankful, joyful, rejoice? Not worry or be anxious? Trusting in the Lord? Yes, those are the things I should be doing according to the Bible as read in Phil 4:4-7, James, 1:2-4, Matt 6:25-34, Proverbs 3:5-8. Yeah, go look those verses up.
What have I really been doing?
Getting angry, frustrated, grimacing, pushing pregnant women out of my way, staring down old frail men as they stand in my path…well, some of those are real and others just thoughts. Just typing this blog has gotten me angry since I'm typing it laying on my back because sitting hurts and I can't see the keys so a couple times I pressed the wrong key going back and erasing what I typed! *explicative*
I generally don't get angry unless there is a just cause, but this month when the pain hits I can't smile. Literally, I can't because my teeth are clinched together and my brow crinkled. It's pretty humorous. I get so frustrated at the pain that all I can do is be angry. Maybe it's a normal way of releasing the pain. Like when someone smashes their hand while hammering there's a quick outburst of anger. What if that keeps happening over and over for a month? That's a lot of outbursts! That's been my life lately. Oh I try my best to hold it in…98.7% of them happen when I'm alone anyway. Just watch out if I'm in public when the pain hits because if you're pregnant with another baby strapped to your back I'll probably think about shoving you out of my way. It gets intense.
Soooo, how do I turn this season in my life into something useful and encouraging for you the reader?
Pain is real. Cliché sayings don't work. Unless you are currently facing or have faced something yourself you can't fully relate to another person going through it.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God – 2 Cor 1:3-4
There it is. There is purpose for our afflictions.
Things don't always make sense. For example, I've been wondering if I have this affliction because God doesn't want me to go on the WR. Is this happening to keep me from going? Wouldn't it have been easier for me to not get accepted? Thoughts I have been pondering. At this point I still don't know the reason, but I must trust in the One who does know. It's tough when shock waves of pain radiate through my back/hip/leg causing me to freeze, but it leads to one of my favorite passages in the scriptures:
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal – 2 Cor 4:16-18
Even on cloudy days we know the sun is there and shining whether we see it or not. How much more does this hold true with the Creator of the sun! Even when we don't think God is hearing our prayers or seeing our pain…He is.
Last night I heard a conversion story of a man who was driving down the road with his head out the window cursing God and using every blasphemous phrase he knew. The man yelled out, "God come down here so I can fight you". As I was listening to this story I couldn't help but yell out to God in my mind, "God I don't want you to come down here and fight me, but come down here and LOVE ME". Then, I realized He already did when Jesus came down and died for me. I thought, "oh yeah, you got me, you already did it". When in doubt go back to the basics – Christ crucified.
May I ask for you to pray for me right now as you read this. I surely would appreciate it because right now I'm unsure if I will be able to do the race. And if this blog was all over the place blame the medication 😛
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice – Psalm 51:8
