First, I need to apologize for not posting anything in the last month. Since training camp, life has been up and down and filled with trying to get so much done in a small amount of time. And I should just be honest, I like to procrastinate A LOT, so that just makes things harder to keep up with because it is always easier to do it tomorrow, right?
I ask you please forgive me and bear with me on this post. (it could be long).
I am sitting here packing for the Race and trying to minimize and fit everything I am going to take into my pack. I have been reflecting on the last month or so since training camp. Training camp was an amazingly, wonderful, difficult experience. The question you may ask yourself is what was training like? The best way I can try to describe it is like this: If you have had an experience with “camp” and the craziness that goes with it, multiply that by 10. There were about 200 people (4 squads) that love Jesus and don’t mind being a little wacky. OK a LOT wacky and crazy. The fact that we will be doing life together for the next 11 months only made it more exciting and an extrovert’s circus. Then for the next week as a Squad (the people i will be traveling with for the next 11 months) we went through lots of scenarios and lectures all meant to help get us ready for the Race. I would say that they did a great job! I feel like I went through “hell week” that all special forces go through but for missionaries. Training was so helpful and also provided a TON of confirmation.
At training, our Squad got split up into teams. Teams are the small groups that we will actually be living and doing ministry with. I am so excited about my team, Relentless Hope!! Please check the amazing people I get the privilege to know, serve, and love. Every team has a Team Leader. The Team Leaders are chosen by the leadership and staff at Adventures in Missions. They do a lot of watching and praying to see who God wants to be a Team Leader. With that said, I have a BIG announcement! I am honored that I was asked to be a Team Leader. That’s right yours truly is aTeam Leader! Scary, I know!
— Before I go any further I must make a confession… When training started and even when I was accepted to the World Race, I did not want to be in a leadership position. Why? It’s a long story but I will do my best to share. Over the last two years, I have been in non-stop leadership roles. As the manager of an outdoor retail store, I was expected to lead and to run or manage store. The past year and a half at this position has been my greatest challenge. First, I let my personal life go and didn’t have much outside of work. I was not seeking the Lord very much and began to listen to a lot of lies that Satan was feeding me. Things like: “you have no friends”, “you are worthless”, “you are not good enough”, “you are completely alone”, and many more. After some time, I began to believe things and that drastically affected everything I did. It threw me in to a “funk” of just not really caring about my personal life. I found it very difficult to exercise (something I love to do) and I found myself trying to find happiness and purpose in all the wrong places. Since I allowed myself to believe these things, it became apart of my life and ultimately carried it with me everywhere I went including work. That had a huge impact on how I handled the employees of that store. I did not do a good job at all of managing and building relationships with those people and in fact I helped to ruin some established friendships within the store. I felt like people didn’t care about me so I quit caring about people. For me, thats completely 180 from how I normally am. It became easier for me to focus on the success of the store and want to make the store more money, than caring about the people who work there and who really mattered. This is painful and sad to write and say but I failed. I failed those people and I failed to lead. Because of the this, which is still very recent (I left the store 3 months ago), I DID NOT want to be in any kind of leadership. (a lot of this is the reason why I wanted to do the World Race to begin with). I didn’t want to because I was/am fearful to do the something again and possibly abuse what has been given to me. I had a panic attack when they asked me to be a team leader. I took a long time to pray about it and seek what the Lord wanted me to do. After a lot of fighting and resisting, I gave into what the Lord was saying, “You can do this because I will lead you and guide you”.
The Lord loves to redeem things and He never fails to do so. This beginning of a crazy adventure is a redemption story for me. I ask all of you to pray for me as I step into this leadership role. Pray that I lead by serving and that I lead well because I follow God well.
So that was pretty much training camp… Well kind of Sort of. God Showed up in huge and Awesome ways.
Now fast forward to now!
I am 4 days away from heading back to Atlanta and roughly 10 days away from leaving the country!!! I don’t know where time has gone. I am cramming to packing everything and making last minute adjustments and purchases and etc. AHHHH. there is just no time!
I am so excited about this journey. God is going to do some incredible things and I know I am going to come back a different person. This is not only going to be fun and adventurous, it is going to be the most difficult year at the same time. I am sad to say bye to family, friends, and things that are comfortable. I did not think it would be this tough to say bye, or as I like to say “see you later”. Last weekend, I got the great privilege to spend it with a group of my closets friends (some weren’t there but for the most part). I did not want that weekend to end because I didn’t want to have to recognize that they will no longer be a phone call, text, or drive away; but in fact, continents away. Saying see you later has been the hardest thing to face yet.
I am getting nervous and anxious with packing. trying to pack for a year into a 50L pack is no easy task! I have found myself wanting to bring way more than I need. I have recognized a not so pretty side of me and that is that I like things and clothes too much! I have always thought of myself as easy going and a minimalist. but trying to pack for the next year has change that assumption about myself. Before the Race has even begun, God is teaching and doing so much! What is He doing around you?
Please pray for me and my team and my squad as we leave in only a few days!!
Before I forget, Thank you to all of my amazing supporters! Y’all are complete rock stars and I am so excited to go on the journey with you. It is because of you that I am 80% funded and have the ability to go. SO THANK YOU!!
if you would like to help support me please go clink the “support me” link and help me become fully funded before I leave the country!! We are so close!!
