Today has been 5 years since my Memaw went
home to be with the Lord. Even though the pain of losing her is not a
fresh as it used to be – I still cannot believe she is gone. I miss her
all the time and especially more recently as so many things have changed in my
life. I am so thankful to be where I am … but so many times, I wish I
could just go to Groves, TX and sit on the couch with her again. I miss
her little wrinkly hands, watching “Days of Our Lives” with her, and
watching her do Word Searches — and I really really miss her cooking. I
wanted to share the beautiful eulogy that my sister, Ashli, wrote 5 years ago
when we honored her at her funeral. It is lengthy, but how do you sum up
someone who lived her life for her family and loved you with every ounce of who
she was? Some of the details in this eulogy have changed – there are more
grandchildren now and Memaw did find Andri a husband! 🙂
Please honor her with me today! I can promise you that I am
going to spend the day missing her and listening to
Loretta Lynn & Dolly
Parton all day!
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Margaret
“Memaw” Tompkins
Margaret Evelyn Tompkins was her true name, but to most people here
she was simply known as Memaw, the name given to her forty years ago by her
oldest grandchild Dana. She had twelve grandchildren and seven (soon
to be eight) great-grandchildren, but in reality, she was a Memaw to all. She
was the rock of the Tompkins family, and she taught us the true meaning of the
word.
1 Peter 3: 3-4 says: “Do not let your adornment be
merely outward – arranging your hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel
– rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of
God.”
Although Memaw loved getting her hair done at the beauty shop,
wearing jewelry, and getting dressed up, her real focus was on the intangibles,
and she had a quiet faith and a strength that she passed on to her
family. She would tell you about her faith any time, but more
importantly, she lived it in love. Her house was full of its
evidence – the Ten Commandments on the dining room wall, spiritual readings
sitting next to the Word Find books in the living room, her Bible on the
dresser in her bedroom, and the Gaithers or other gospel music that she loved
to listen to in the house.
She demonstrated her love on a daily basis, loving each of her
family members as themselves and remaining a devoted wife. Although she
knew her family had flaws, she simply chose not to focus on them, and heaven
help anyone who talked badly about her family. She always knew that
singing was not the strongpoint for her granddaughters Deena and Kim, but any
criticism of the two was rebutted by Memaw defending them and claiming that
they “sing good.”
Memaw was a strong-willed woman who knew what she believed and
what she wanted, and she never had a problem communicating it. She
loved to talk about politics every morning with her good friend and neighbor
Edel.
Memaw loved to cook for others and was very proud of her
Thanksgiving dressing and gumbo. She kept her house stocked for
visitors to drop by any time (which they did often) and always kept a jar of
pickles and the cookie jar available for the grandkids, among others. Anyone
who ever spent time at Memaw’s house knows where the cookie jar is
stashed. And she enjoyed cooking a big roast with rice and gravy on
Sundays when she had Randi and Chris over each week.
Memaw had an amazing memory and would not let us get away with
exaggerating or fudging facts for humor’s sake. She was quick to
correct any misrepresented points. And she never forgot a birthday
or anyone at Christmas.
Memaw had a good sense of humor and tolerated her grandchildren
making fun of her. She always laughed when Andri and I fought over
who would inherit her gold shoes, and she loved the chaos at her house, leading
to often answer the telephone by saying, “Memaw’s Zoo…”
Out of all aspects of Memaw, the most notable and most telling was
the top priority she put on her family. There is evidence of this
all throughout her house, as she surrounded herself with pictures that she kept
up for years of Jody in the Navy, Cheri in high school, the girls in dance
recitals, and David playing T-ball. More importantly, and as
everyone here can attest, she was involved in her family’s lives. Memaw
was at everything – every baseball, T-ball, basketball games, track races,
singing performances, pageants, dance performances. And she traveled
all across the country to watch her family: with Chris to Waco, with
Andri to Austin, with the dancers to Disney and Las Vegas, and with Deena to
Nashville.
Everything important in the Tompkins family happened at Memaw’s
house, and it usually involved her sitting on the front porch, watching us play
football or kickball in her tiny front yard, some game Kari created called
“Colored Eggs,” or Branson running in circles with Uncle Gary.
Memaw was a dignified woman who loved us but always had to make
sure she told us to “Behave.” However, she always said it
with a smile on her face, as we created the newest way to entertain her with a
rap song, Kim’s and Andri’s rendition of “Busted,” Darci’s or Chris’s
dance moves. We knew that despite her need to make us
“mind,” she loved our creativity and the chaos that ensued.
If it’s true that opposites attract, then she and Pepaw were a
perfect pair for sixty-three years. She cared for him as a servant,
and the grandkids always got a kick out of hearing her fuss at him to Behave
when he sang the Do-Nut Song or told us funny stories.
Even though her body grew weak, she was still as sharp as
ever. While very sick in the hospital a year ago, she made sure to
communicate this by writing on a card, “I still have my mind.”
Memaw gave to everyone more than just herself … she gave a
legacy … of family, love, strong values, and responsibility.
John 5:12 says: “This is my commandment, that you
love one another as I have loved you.”
Memaw exhibited that love. On Friday and Saturday, as
she lay in the hospital during her last time with us, we saw the very
definition of love and how it is exhibited through family. And we
are truly blessed to have that in the family that she founded. And
we know that she is running around heaven with a new set of knees, in a pair of
gold shoes, with her sons James and Randy, taking care of great-grandchild
number eight.
We will always hear her voice and feel her presence, and we will
always know that she is telling us to Behave.
(And now, she can look for a husband for Andri in heaven, rather
than in all of the doctor’s offices.)
Memaw – I love you so much and I thank you for all the ways you loved me… I miss you and Pepaw so so so much!
