This is my second time in Thailand – I went with Glowing Heart in college and I love it just as much as I did the first time I came. I am working with the Lighthouse Guesthouse (www.lighthousethai.com), which is in partnership with YWAM in Chiang Mai. Our main ministry while here this month is to go into the red light district at night and build relationships with the girls who are in the prostitution business. I have been two nights in a row now and it is both upsetting and encouraging. These are beautiful girls, who begin this work as young as age 14. I observed so many of them last night – almost all of these women are doing this because they see no other means of providing for their families… some even have children they have to care for. It is so hard to watch their faces as they have to pretend to be interested in the men who are buying them for the night!! And yet, there is a beauty in their faces when they see young women who are coming to get to know them. Shannon (from team BLING) and I are working together this month and we met 6 different girls last night. These girls were so excited to spend some time just talking and playing pool with us (which by the way – I might be the worst pool player there is). I am looking forward to getting to know these precious girls and hoping that God might give me opportunity to share His love and freedom with them. My friend and squad leader, Ashley, shared a message with us the other night that has stuck with me. She spoke about not feeling pressured to “do” something for God – but just to “be” who God has created us to be and let Him do the work. This is my goal this month – just be me – just be who God has made me to be and ask God to do something through me!
God has been really speaking to me a lot this month already (it is only day 3 here & there has already been a lot). I am learning this year about laying down my rights. And to be frank – it really sucks sometimes. Although I did not grow up wealthy – compared to the rest of the world, my life has been extremely privileged and it is interesting what kind of things I think that I “deserve” or things that I view as my inalienable human rights. I remember thinking before this race that there was no way that I could go a whole year without a warm shower, and now 4 months in… I do not want a hot shower…I want a cold shower! (Now, I will probably not be thinking this in Eastern Europe when I am freezing my butt off)!! I tend to think that I deserve the right to use a public bathroom without having to pay to do so… the right to pick up a phone and talk to my family when I want … or to use the internet when I want without having a time limit. I had a difficult day yesterday with Cason & Mackenli’s 2nd birthday being just around the corner. It was hard to see pictures of their birthday party and know that I will still not see or hold them for another 7 months (seems unbearable sometimes)! And to know that I will not see or touch my family on my 25th birthday in a few days. I was crying and complaining to the Lord about it all and I heard Him clearly say to me “Darci, you need to lay your family down”! WHAT? Seriously? I am pretty sure that when I left the country 4 months ago and committed a year of my life to serving the Lord overseas – that meant that I was laying my family down. I was pretty upset with God for what He said to me. I did not understand why after all that it seems like I have given up this year – He would ask for More!! And, a lot of things don’t bother me – but why my family? I am tired of being away from them – I am tired of having to lay down all the rights that I think I deserve when it comes to them. Sometimes it just seems too hard to be away – and to know that I still have 7 more months to go. I knew from the beginning of this trip that my family was going to be the hardest part of this year for me. I can see how I give control over the the Lord, and then a few weeks later – I find that I have put my hands back in and picked up what I laid down at the cross. So, here I am – realizing that I have picked them back up and it is time to lay them down again…. and it is NOT easy. It is hard to give up the rights that I think I deserve, but I know that it is all for my growth. And, I have to remember that God knows my heart and has given me so many opportunities to spend time with my family over the last 4 months – through Skype and pictures/videos that my sister always provides for me. So, I choose to lay them down and I choose to be thankful that God is in control and that He has so graciously given me time and time again to “spend time with them” in a way.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers for my team of 16 women this month – who are almost all doing the bar ministry. I believe that God is going to work in unbelievable ways this month and I am excited to see how the Lord moves and speaks to each of us. I may have an opportunity as well to work with an orphanage during the day – where I would be helping to take care of babies infected with AIDS – please pray that God will make that work out if it is supposed to. I am looking forward to a month filled with lessons – tough, heart-wrenching lessons, and I am hoping to see a little more Jesus on the other side of this month.
Love you all and love hearing from you. Hope you have an amazing Easter Sunday – spend time with your families!
