Even though I’ve learned to be more vulnerable on the race, and I’ve been able to share my deepest emotions, it is still a struggle for me to be completely vulnerable all the time and fully expose my heart. With the spirit of keeping it real and raw, I want to confess how I feel about coming home. One of my favorite movies is “Coming to America” with Eddie Murphy, so I am calling my day of coming home, “Coming to America- Daphnee’s Edition.”
Since month eight debrief in Nepal, going home has been a hot topic for every racer. “Do you know what you are going to do after the race? What food will you like to eat first? What restaurant will you like to go to? Are you going to Project Searchlight? (Project Searchlight is a week-long workshop that unite racers one month after they have returned home to help them figure out the next steps in their life.) Who are you excited to see the most?
As I listen to my teammates and squad-mates talk excitedly about going home, I can’t help but feel a little sad that I am not as excited to go home as they are. I am not ready for this season to be over. There are times I secretly wish that days will be longer, and the month will slow down. I am not ready to go home. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to see and to give my family and friends the biggest hug that I can. I am excited to celebrate my sister’s and my friends’ graduation from college and graduate school. I am excited to hear all about my little brother’s first year of high school. I am looking forward to seeing my parents face to face since last seeing them on Skype in month five. I look forward to catching up with my friends and hearing about how their year went. I am very excited for my mother’s cooking, to eat some good Haitian food: some diri a sauce pois, bannann peze ak pikliz, some sauce legum, and some diri kole ak pios noir or pois rouge; the list goes on.
Putting all excitements aside, when I start to think of all the responsibilities I left behind that await my arrival, I get overwhelmed and secretly wish for the month to slow down. “Month ten just slow down a little and give me more time, more time to plan out my next move.“ The idea that I do not know what I want to do after the race or what God’s plans are for me is frightening. This time, however, I’m not frightened the way I have been in the past. This time, it’s a different kind of frightening. It is not the kind of frightening that makes me worry or stress me out, but the kind that ends with hope. The kind where I’m okay with saying “I don’t know what I’m going to do after the race” because I know that God has a great plan uniquely made for ME. How exciting it is to know that the Almighty God, who created all, has a special plan just for me, a plan that will not only bring me joy, happiness, peace and riches, but one that will strengthen His Kingdom and Glorify His Name.
Though I may not be as excited to come home as my teammates and squad-mates are, I am excited and looking forward to the plans that God has for me in the next session.
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I am scheduled to come to America Thursday July 31th landing in New York City.
Thank you for reading!
