For the past two months, I’ve been hiding behind the pictures and videos. I’ve been sharing all the wonderful and happy experiences on the race. But fail to share the works that God is doing in me and through me.
The world race is exhausting, but I can’t image being anywhere and doing anything else, but the world race…
God takes me 100% out of my comfort zone…
I am emotionally and spiritually exhausted…
If you know me, you know that I am not someone who likes to express her feelings and emotions, but on the race I have to do that everyday….
God is taking away the control I thought I had
He is taking away my yearning to cry alone and breaking me down in public, in front of my team, and squad….
He is Speaking Truths in Me, and speaking out the lies…
For the past weeks, I’ve felt distance from God and everyone around me (from my team, from ministry). My heart was just not in it. I was physically present, but emotionally and spiritually absent. My prayers were prayers of anger to God:
“ How long will you forget me? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Am I not worthy of your love?”
The devil has been feeding me with lies that I’ve believed to be true:
Lies that I’ve allowed to control me
Lies that I’ve allowed to distance me from the world and from God
Lies that I’ve allowed to held me captive
Lies that I’ve allowed to held me chained
Lies that I’ve allowed to build walls in my heart
Lies that I’ve allowed to make me feel unworthy and unloved
But the Lord is working in me
Whispering out loud the truths
I am WORTHY
I am LOVE
I am BEAUTIFUL inside and outside
I am NOT ALONE and don’t have to do it alone
It’s okay to cry and expose my weaknesses- His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness.
Being vulnerable is something that doesn’t come easy to me, but I am a work in progress. It’s month 3 and God has already done so much Growth in me. I am starting a series “Bold, Raw, and Real,” where I become vulnerable with you, share the raw experiences and keep it real with you.
I want to ask you for your prayers through this journey of struggles, brokenness, vulnerability, and growth and that I never loss sight of God’s Mercy and Grace.
With Great Love,
Daphnee
Next blog “He Broke Me Into Pieces (Part 2) –The Meltdown”
