It has been a while, hasn’t it? And it’s odd, because in all the ways I’ve been able to show you glimpses into the heart of what we do and how it gets done, I’ve left out one crucial part of the Race – the people I run it with.
In the sweet wayward nature of God’s sovereignty, my toughest moments have proven both my most formative and intensely beautiful as well. And it’s there, in the seemingly mindless chaos where His beauty becomes so radiantly displayed, that my trust for His all-consuming Providence becomes all the more radically emboldened.
One of my best, most dear friends – in fact, one of the most passionate, incomprehensibly liberating people I’ve ever met – Sheri Funk, ladies and gentlemen. She was a pleasure, is a pleasure, and always will be.
I was on a team with Sheri for the first three months of the race, where we only began to get glimpses of how much we would come to mean to each other. Sheri’s small by physical means– she had hung her clothes up to dry at training camp and someone came by remarking loudly, “whose baby clothes are these???” – but she’s the reigning squad champion sock wrestler, and there’s no telling what might get shown in the process. She cuts hair when she’s not in the Word, originally from Pittsburgh but spending her summers at Ocean City on the beach rolling in the East Coast dough, and she and I both share an intense love affair with John Piper, preacher out of Minneapolis; honestly, he changed my life. While we only have room for one Lord and Savior in our lives, Johnny Pipes comes in a close second. Sheri had a mouth, but the Lord’s been refining that thing for months now, and she’s still got it, but mostly it just changes peoples’ lives now. Sheri points me to the Lord more than I ever knew anyone could be pointed to the Lord. And even as she left, sun dress flowing in the Nairobi breeze, the colors radiant against the charcoal parking lot, “And woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel.” Read your Book, it’s in there.
Sheri taught all of us, and still continues to, how much there is to gain by living breathing speaking thinking every thought word action every SECOND all my heart all my soul all my life, Jesus, and the glorious revelation of His character in the Word, to the ultimate praise of the Glory of His Grace! Ephesians 1, baby, I love it.
Sheri knows Him, in such a way that it is impossible not to be irresistibly drawn into closer communion with Him just by being around her. He drips off her tongue, and her admiration and adoration of His grace and His perfect character are contagious. The faith by which she speaks, even carries herself, enough to die for His name and wonder why the hell everyone wouldn’t join her in the process, is infectious. Irresistible. Sheri, the mere testimony of your recent sanctification by the Spirit is enough to open larger locked Kingdoms and more inaccessible hearts than most of us could ever dream. If anyone is His, it is Sheri Funk.
And she’s taught me so much out here, it pains me to think of where I’d be if it weren’t for what God’s done through her, for me, for this squad, for this whole dang planet.
Sheri Funk left the race this last debrief, dress billowing, being asked to leave for a number of reasons I imagine, ones that I don’t deem prudent for me to dwell on or investigate – but really the only one I’m concerned with and am compelled to share, and even delight in, really, is that God was finally answering her prayer, and mine as well, in His own perfect timing.
I remember in the first week of the race, being torn apart by her testimony, a brash, careless, selfish wrecking ball irresistibly redeemed, words that cut, actions that screamed hate, and now the Lord’s brought her here, and drawn her closer to Himself than she ever thought possible, by His perfect beautiful Grace – and I still remember, to every perfect detail, her crying out through tears in agony, “God whatever it takes to break me, to break my pride and my arrogance, to get rid of Sheri Funk and humble her, I pray that you do it.” And in an early alignment of our intentions and characters, she taught me to pray the exact same thing, both of us well aware that the only things capable of standing in the way of God’s work through our lives is in fact ourselves.
And maybe I only remember this so well because I heard her repeat it the day she left, 2 hours before she was told, the same prayer, the same anguish. But I don’t think that’s true. I know myself better than that. Ever since I met her Sheri Funk and I have been on the same page, about everything, to what the Lord is teaching us, to the way we hear Him speak, to the things that are hurting us, or holding us back. And maybe that, way back in month 1 was just the first time I began to realize it.
If there is anything that Sheri Funk has taught this squad, which I believe to be the heart of everything that we’ve learned, it’s to know God, and trust His sovereignty.
And maybe that’s why, when they brought me in to her ever faithful 1-on-1, and I saw her smile through beautiful tear-strained eyes, and Steve’s voice came as if in a fog, “Danny we have some bad news, we’ve asked Sheri to go home,” that although a million thoughts raced through my head, not a single word could come out, because no matter how many times my brain tried to recalculate the blame, my heart came to the same conclusion: God is sovereign.
And I trust Him now more than I ever have in my entire life, because of our coaches Wanda and Steve, and our squad leaders’ decision to act when they heard the voice of the Lord urging them – because I know the promises of my Lord, and I know how perfect they are. No good thing does He withhold, every perfect gift, at His right hand are pleasures forevermore, God works all things to our good, He who is faithful and just, Rock, Father, Lover, Only – and I can see these truths behind my ever-muddling thoughts, because this woman sitting in front of me gave me cause to put them there.
And through a thousand tears and an unvoiced sea of whys, we were both able to grasp, and even rejoice, in the fact that He’s finally doing it. He’s finally answering that prayer that both of us have so long known was the next, painfully beautiful step – “Lord, whatever it takes, humble me – get me out of Your way”. And He is! And I trust Him so much!, to finish the work He started, just like He promises.
I remember memories coming like oncoming traffic as I helped her pack, and word began to spread, as laughs and tears punctured the cloudy afternoon cool with equal tenure. And pretty soon it was clear, that the Race had suddenly become much much more than a race, that these people I’ve been running along side, have actually been people that are in every way an integral part of my life and faith. And that these months, are so much more than an 11 month program, they’re just the first step of radical faith and unending joy in whatever dangers and beautiful struggles our surrendering everything to our Jesus entails, to whatever far flung corners of the globe He already has prepared for us to go, always in the shadow of His fullness. I felt this in Samson’s tent, as we sang away her last hour, crying and laughing somehow at the same time, totally at peace, and I felt this in the airport, as Sheri and I said our goodbyes, knowing full well that the next time we see each other will be just the next part of this fully engaged whatever Good plan He has for us for forever and ever, worshipping Him all the way. Because if God is good, even in these small little moments, month 8 of month 11 or whatever the hell that even means, then He is only Good! And if He is beautiful, in the shattered remnants of what could be that somehow have come to mean the full potential of what will be for the rest of our lives, then He is only Beautiful! And if He is perfect, in whatever plans He gives and takes away, in the ever-comforting breath of His perfect lovely sanctuary of sovereignty, then He is only Perfect!
And I find I don’t have time to mourn what could be, or for heaven’s sake what my flesh dare thinks should be, when I’m able to bask in the all-consolingly perfect sovereignty of what IS, and how much joy and peace and love and goodness God has laid out for us in the plan He, in His perfection, saw most loving FOR US to lay out before us. And God, I receive that and I trust that plan more than I ever have, now of all times.
AND IT’S SO GOOD!! It’s actually SO GOOD! And I love this squad so much, and will love it so much better because of what happened last week at debrief.
Because this is exactly what she needed, and exactly what I needed, and exactly what we needed, and exactly what He wanted, and He was even good enough to have us ask for it, that I might learn the lesson; God and only God, not a hint of me, ever again.
Love,
Danny
