Two weeks. Twooooo weeeeeks!!! I can’t even believe it. The fact that the wait is coming to an end is overwhelming. It’s like the anticipation before training camp all over again. Before training camp, we only had vague perceptions formed by carefully crafted online personalities, hints dropped by staff we hadn’t met, poetic bloggers currently on the race, and an allure of promise. And then you get there, and everything you’ve been dreaming of and imagining your team and your squad and your trip to be for 8 months all comes rushing to a head –
They stilllll haven’t told us where we’ll be going first. At the same time that God’s shoveling us all slowly, steadily forwards to the start of this thing, time feels like it’s going backwards. Launch seems further away now than it did a month ago.
Things have begun to slip too. Little orderly things, or temper things. Rebuilt relationships and reconstructed habits have had enough time to loosen and unravel slightly, and the restlessness caused by anxiety or anticipation or whatever has boiled up inside and is in danger of exploding at any second. And in an effort to delay that explosion for as long as we can, I think all of us are just trying to keep as busy as possible,
So, busy I’ve kept myself. Picking up last minute items, calling racers, calling friends at school for perhaps the last time, arranging hang outs and meet ups, picking up passport photos and rearranging what’s left of the stuff in my room, finally finishing season 7 of How I Met Your Mother, notifying my bank, cruising through big chunks of the bible with fellow teammate Sheri Funk, taking care of incoming donations, preparing for a going away party, popping in for my good buddy Shawn’s wedding, flight snooping on Kayak, google mapping prospective ministry locations, finally airing out my tent, demolishing the fresh fruit in the fridge, preparing for round two of the garage sale, tallying up Nertz games with my sister, figuring out I’m all set on immunizations, taking taco box challenges and 40 mile bike rides with Eric, and avoiding our dog Norm as much as possible.
For a while it was easy. I mean, the Olympics were such a blessing – those 17 days FLEW by. I enjoyed a grueling schedule of watching them at least 16 hours a day.
And now I suppose, since the ‘Pics have been over, I’ve added ‘mourning their loss’ to my daily schedule – but it has been tough. These last two weeks loom in front of me. It’s not even like I’m anxious really. Or nervous. There isn’t much that worries me about this – the impossibly rough hours and sleepless nights, the uncomfortable travel and free-for-all living conditions, the demands of international ministry, the complete absence of alone time or personal space… I’m really fine with all those things. Honestly what scares me the most are these last two weeks. It’s this giant chasm to me right now. How the heck am I going to stay busy, without going crazy and hurling myself into it?? – that’s the question. I imagine it’s important to have these last two weeks here. I imagine there’s work to be done, conversations to be had I don’t know about, things still to pray for and prepare, expectations to eradicate and a position of my heart still to adopt… But honestly, the wait feels like I’m being dragged 2 miles under water across the subduction field of a tectonic fault line…
So this is it. In two weeks, my team will begin pouring in from all corners of the country to my house, and we’ll begin launch out of Chicago, right near O’Hare, on September 5th. Who knows what we’ll do at launch. We honestly don’t have a clue, except that by the end we will be prepared. And then we’ll leave. For 11 months. To 11 different countries. Different ministries, different languages, different cultures, different struggles. Our first flight will probably last days, and we’ll emerge in whatever country we’re in being birthed like newborns, before likely being shoved into an 80 hour bus ride that fits 30 people less than it’ll be holding. We’ll be picked up wherever we’re dropped off by our ministry contact we don’t yet know – they’ll probably have to literally pick us up off the ground – and we’ll get right up and running, bringing Jesus to people we’ve never met and preaching to people we can’t understand, in words that most certainly won’t be our own. I imagine we’ll be exhausted before we even start, and we might never be clean again. It’ll probably be 150 degrees with at least twice as much humidity, and I’m sure the bugs will be enormous.
Whatever awaits us, it’ll be big, and the Lord is going to reveal Himself in ways I’m honestly scared of. I don’t think we have any idea how big we’re going to need Him to be to get us through this year.
But you know what??
I’m so ready for this.
Please continue to pray. This is beginning to get really real. Pray for the Lord to prepare the hearts of people we’ll meet. Pray for power in the Spirit and divine appointments. Pray for radical things to happen. Pray for dependence on the Lord and obedience to His spirit. Pray for brokenness on our part and restoration for the people we will meet. Pray for fruitful ministry, pray for understanding of the Lord, pray for our ministry contacts we don’t know, and pray that God brings His Kingdom to these countries. Pray for restoration. Pray for radical healing. Pray for salvation.
Pray for our team, pray for humility and honesty and vulnerability. Pray for intimacy. Pray we work out whatever we need to no matter how painful it is or how much crap is buried. Pray that our love for each other, our sacrifice for each other, and our joy in each other’s company even when we can’t stand each other, is a witness to those around us. Pray for our words, pray for our hearts. Pray we keep our minds guarded but set our hearts on fire with the Lord’s compassion. Pray hard for us, please. Pray hard for us now. I imagine these last two weeks will be enormously difficult for all of us. Satan is having a fit right now, and we’re all feeling it.
Here’s a fun fact. We each needed $6500 raised by last Saturday in order for us to launch. And there were a good 20 of us that were behind two weeks ago, most of them needing at least $1500-$3000 still. And the Lord provided for every single one of them, on His own time, right up to the deadline. Our Lord is faithful!!
As for me, I’m only about $800 short of being fully funded, all $15,500, assuming the monthly donations continue to come in until March. I am floored by your generosity and humbled by God’s faithfulness. And I invite you if you feel the Lord calling you, to partner with me in this last little bit, so that I’m fully funded before I leave. It would be an enormous blessing to have that weight off my shoulders. You can donate right here or by using the link in the menu on the left, ‘Financially support me’. If you get lost, there are instructions on the home page of this blog.
Furthermore, SUBSCRIBE!! You can add your email in the ‘subscribe for email updates’ link on the left so that you get a short email notification every time I post. This way you can follow me all year, and you won’t have to worry about missing a thing.
Thank you guys, so much. You all mean the world to me, and are all intricately connected as a part of God’s plan with this thing, in some way. Thank you for your support and for reading. I love you all very much.
-Danny
