Done Graduated

My goodness I’m so sorry, it’s been a really long time.  Admittedly, yes, something happened, I graduated, but it’s not like I’ve been strapped for time.  I just got caught up, I suppose, in all these lasts and all these firsts, that I haven’t taken the time to write about it.  But there are some things I’ve learned these past couple months.

Nassau Hall, the oldest building on campus… and also the most revered
 

It’s weird.  There’s something very monumental about graduating.  And I don’t mean that to sound blatantly obvious.  Of course it’s a big deal.  But, I’ve never not been a student before.  And for as long as I live, no matter what else happens, I will never have any other college undergrad experience other than the one I had.  I will always and only have exactly what I experienced in one small window of perspective at good ol’ Princeton.  There are people I will never see again.  Conversations I will probably never have.  It’s real weird.  And it’s humbling really.  But most of all I’ve just been happy to be here.
 
Mostly I’m grateful.  I remember last time I graduated something of note, I was so over it.  I turned my back on highschool yelling PEACE over my shoulder, never bothering to look back or thank the people that got me through it.  And as I’ve grown up more and more, I’ve come to regret that attitude I had, that I was only ready for bigger and better things. 
 
This time around, the one thing I mostly feel is gratitude.  It has been an unequivocal privilege to be here and to meet the people I’ve met.  And it’s not like it’s been without its share of difficulties.  I’ve had some of my worst nights at Princeton, thought myself worthless here, seen friendships crumble around me because of me, and genuinely wished I was elsewhere.  But in every way I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all of those frankly miserable times.  And besides, there were great times too.  Great nights and great people, a sense of purpose and true joy, and it came over me one night as I was walking back up Elm, the row of street lights ghosts disappearing into the mist, casting a silver shadow on Whitman – I’m gonna miss this place. 
 

 

I'm proud, but I'm lucky.  My education was always something I maybe never took that seriously… maybe.  But it was work, getting here, not only on my behalf, but a lot of people put a lot of work into getting me where I am today, and to stand at this end of it, it does in fact make me very proud.  And humbled, if by nothing else, the outrageous opportunity I've been blessed with.   

Be intentional.  I wish I had always known why I was here.  It is so easy to go through four years simply because that’s what people do; to get sucked into the work and the complaining and the party scene, and lose sight of your identity along the way.  I wish I had thought very carefully about why I was here, what I held as priority and how I was actually living that out.  But God is sovereign, and I don’t regret the path He took me on.  But if I could do it all again, I would do it differently.  I’m a much different person now than I was when I came in, and for that I am thankful. 
 
If you graduate the same person you came in as, you did it wrong.  I remember a guy laughing when I told him my life plans.  Laughing.  I was 20 and he was 22, and he couldn’t even take me seriously.  And when I indignantly asked him why, he told me I had no idea, how different it is being 22 than it is being 20. -that I’ll be a completely different person.  And I hated it at the time, but my GOODNESS he was right.  Pride was my only concern, sarcasm my only crutch, and judgment my only way of commerce.  But I find myself graduating with an insatiable love for Jesus, for His grace and His holiness, and I can only look back and shake my head. 
 

Christmas with Grandma

Abundant Life.  My grandma passed away right at the end of the year.  And in a way, it was a very sobering experience, and a weird way for me to go out.  I found myself distracted and frustrated, unable to focus on school when matters of life and death were so close.  And we all love Grandma very much, but to be honest, she didn’t have the greatest time these last few years.  And it was just such a struggle for me to reconcile that to the abundant life that God promises us.  But He does promise abundant life, and He makes it very clear how we can have it, regardless of external circumstance.  And I’m fairly certain that this is perhaps the second most important thing in the Christian walk behind perseverance – that we ARE saved, NOW, and that we have access to righteousness and joy through Christ for eternity, yes, but for today and tomorrow as well
 
Perseverance.  It’s hard, but it’s really the only thing that counts.  Can you hold on to what’s important for forever.  There’s never a time when who you are in that moment doesn’t count.  I know that now.

 

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And now I’m home for the entire summer.  And it’s hard, yes, because I feel like I’m just waiting.  Half of me is so anxious to leave and start the next chapter, to taste true, vibrant Christian community, to feel useful, to pray for people to be healed and to serve, to see things and learn things and be on the move and growing – I’m so HUNGRY! 
 
But the other half of me is at rest and thankful for the extended time God has granted me to spend with my family, perhaps for the last time.  I have time to plan for the Race, to finish raising support, to spend some time with friends, and be home every night for Mom and Dad.  Something else I learned these last few years – I really love my parents.  I really, really love them.  And as much as I’m excited for September, I know I’m not leaving until then for a reason.  And my plan at this point is to make the most of that reason. 
 

 

Thanks for the prayers and for the support, and I urge you to keep them coming.  I’ve always been pretty independent, but I’ve also been faced with the reality, I won’t be able to do this alone.  Keep in touch too, I have time and I’m home, so if you’re around, I’d love to see you.
 
It's been wonderful.
Love,
Danny