Written June 1st, 2010
So much in just a few short days…One thing is for certain, God is much bigger and much better than westudy which you’ve preached before…God can take you deeper. ever realize. The point of this blog is simple. Everything you know about God, every truth you think you understand, every topic of Bible
We in the western world love accomplishing tasks and then moving onto the next. Life is about results, so we need to accomplish the task at hand as efficiently as possible and then move on to the next problem. I, Danny, live completely by this mindset. School, work, recreation…I take what I have, make it better, and then move on to the next thing and do it all over again. This became a part of my relationship with God as well. The goal of my life is to become more and more like Jesus, so I find an area where I don’t look like Jesus, work on it, pray about it, get godly wisdom about it, experience some healing and freedom on it, and then move on to the next thing. That’s pretty much how I do life. Anyone relate with me?
Well, I’m realizing more and more that life with God isn’t so efficient and smooth. Turns out God is infinite. I can never fully grasp the depths of His truths. So maybe…just maybe…when I think I have things figured out, God wants me to go deeper.
If you have been following my blog this year, you will probably remember my Unspeakable Joy series I wrote in Australia. The culmination of that series was God opening my eyes to the freedom I have from performance (you can read the whole thing here: Unspeakable Joy). I was blown away by the goodness of God and His love for us. I felt so free! I shared the story with my squadmate Nate, and he challenged me to dig deeper. God wanted to take me further into this freedom from performance. So that’s what I prayed…
This last month in Thailand was great, but if I’m honest, on the outside we didn’t do a lot for the Kingdom. Six days a week, we took care of a farm and built a future YWAM base. We didn’t preach, we didn’t do door-to-door evangelism, we didn’t seem to be effecting the country of Thailand very much. That was pretty hard for me. God sent me around the world to share the Gospel, to bring the life of Christ to those who are dead…why is this all I am doing?
Thailand was my fifth month, and I’ve yet to be present when someone gave their life to Christ. This has bothered me for most of the race. I’ve had this debate in my head for a while now…On one side I feel like God is telling me to enjoy Him, enjoy fellowship, enjoy the environment I’m in. Rest and enjoy. On the other side, I’m thinking that if I’m really walking in the Spirit, if I’m really hearing the voice of God, if I’m really being obedient, then people should be being saved. That should be a natural implication of walking in the Spirit and being obedient. Since I’ve yet to see anyone come to Christ, the question I have to ask myself is, am I really doing those things?
I shared this question and this personal debate with the men during breakfast. Afterwards, my boy Drew came up to me and began poking and prodding a bit. I shared with him everything I’ve been thinking for the past few months. Yes, it’s true that life is about relationship with God, and I know that He doesn’t NEED me to save the world, but in the New Testament, it seems like Spirit-filled believers were seeing a lot of people putting their faith in Christ. How do I reconcile these two things?
As that thought formed in my head, a new one quickly replaced it. It was as if my eyes were opened for the very first time. The stone was rolled away and I could see the truth. That question bothered me so much because I wanted to prove to myself that I’m obedient, that I walk in the Spirit, that I hear God’s voice. I wanted to know that my life is pleasing to God. At the foundation of it all, I wanted to prove to God that I’m an obedient, Spirit-filled believer.
I’ve heard my entire life that I can’t earn my salvation – that I can’t earn God’s approval – that God is pleased with me because He is pleased with the Christ in me, not because of my actions. I preach these truths all the time! I believe them to be true, yet I hadn’t experienced their depth. I hadn’t experienced their fullness. And because I hadn’t experienced this, I hadn’t been living in the freedom that God has given me. I hadn’t known God fully as the loving, not chiding, Father that He is.
“It’s about relationship with me Danny. Relationship with me. Nothing else matters. Abide in me, walk with me, enjoy me. I will take care of everything else.”
“How do I do that God?”
“He who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore strive to enter into that rest.” (Hebrews 4:10-11)
Just as He spoke to me in Byron Bay, Australia, He spoke to me again. Life is meant to be lived in the supernatural rest of God. Complete peace, complete joy, even in the midst of the storm. We don’t strive after fruit, we don’t strive after salvations, we strive to enter into the supernatural rest that God has made available to us. Our whole lives should be lived through that filter. Can you see the freedom in that?? Can you feel the fullness of life offered?
I did. We left Thailand for Kenya for a five day debrief. The first night some friends and I played cards, ate dinner, drank hot cocoa, and laughed. We laughed hard, we deeply enjoyed the fellowship of good friends. We weren’t talking about God. We weren’t ministering to a non-believer. But in that moment, I knew God was pleased. We brought pleasure to God, just by enjoying the company of good friends. And for the first time in my life, I experienced the fullness of that pleasure myself.
*The two days after this was written God gave me the incredible blessing of leading two men into a relationship with Christ! Sometimes we just have to stop trying so hard ; )*
