I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately. Most of those questions have to do with why so many people don’t know Him. The last few days my eyes have been opened to enormous amounts of people that don’t have a relationship with the one true God. And it’s killing me. I want to know why He doesn’t just snap His fingers and draw his captive children to Himself, why people are constantly filling themselves up with unsatisfying substitutes. I talked to a guy on campus at the University of California at San Diego (UCSD) who was fully aware of the emptiness of mankind and the need to fill it with something. But to him it didn’t matter what the filler was, as long as it filled the gap (at least temporarily). I want God to open their eyes and see the darkness they are in, and then to run into the glorious light of the Almighty. I want a revival, but I don’t see one. And I want God to tell me why.
Tonight, a group of us on the project, went out to the beach for a little praise and worship. I ended up walking a little ways from the group asking our Father these same questions. Soon my eyes were drawn to the light pole. At first, all I could see was a bright light that made me squint to keep it from hurting my eyes. But as I kept staring into the light I began to make out the shape of lamp, and then the shape of the bulb, and then all of the little details surrounding the lamp and the bulb. Eventually I could even tell that the panel protecting the bulb was broken in several places. If I looked away for a second but then came back, I could see the same amount. But if I looked away for too long, then I would be back at square one, just looking into a bright light.
I feel like trying to see Christ is like this. When we first begin to look at Him, He is so bright we almost want to turn away. But as we focus our eyes only on His light, then He himself comes into focus. We begin to see him clearer, we begin to make out the minute details of His glory. We can trust in His promises and rest in His hands no matter the circumstances we are facing. Fixing our eyes on Jesus allows us to finally SEE Him. But if we turn away from Him for too long well then we have to retrain ourselves to bask in His light again.
God I’m tired of looking away. I’m tired of having to retrain myself to see Him. Father fix my eyes on your Son, and bind my heart to thee. For how can you answer my questions, if I can’t even see you…
