I’m Dating a Ladyboy

I'm Dating a Ladyboy

So in my last blog " Love is a verb", I spoke about our ministry and I began to tell you a little about Michelle.

Michelle has became a real friend to me.

I really mean that – I don't see him as a project. I don't see him as just ministry. I don't see him as a ladyboy or prostitute – I see him as my friend! 
(me, Michelle and jen)
 

 

  We have been going to visit michelle for the last 2 weeks. Every night we have been building our relationship up.

 

I have been praying that the Holy Spirit will be so present when we are there and that Michelle will feel safe with us to share more about his life, his future, his dreams and just that we will be in a great friendship. 

 

Michelle is a lady boy from a village outside of Chiang Mai. He was asked when he was younger what he wanted to be when he was older. He said he wanted to be a hairdresser. From a young age Michelle was put on hormones because his parents thought he should have been a girl. Michelle has lived through life as a man but being pumped with hormones that make him feel female. He has no identity. Stuck between manhood and womanhood. He doesn't even fit in with all the ladyboys. He is lost and seems so lonely. He has dreams but is stuck working his life away in this bar. 

This bar sells the ladyboys off for 400 Thai baht which is like £8. It makes me so upset and annoyed that Michelle is sold off as something so cheap! 

He is not cheap! He is a talented man that has the biggest heart of gold. He is hurting and worries for his family and future.

 

Here is what has happened every night.

( I have taken parts of my journal that we have been sending to " Love Acts" every night)

 

Night 1 

 Me and Jen went to a ladyboy  bar. We met Michelle – Michelle seemed a little shy at first but then came and eventually started to talk to us. We bought him a drink and asked him to join us. He chatted the whole night and was very open to tell us about his life, his family, his low income, his dreams of being a hairdresser, his customers and even some of the pain he faces in his life and in his job. Michelle does not want to work in the bars but says he has no option as he cant get a job. We talked all night and had a lot of fun. There also was a lot of sad moments. I thank God that the bar was empty and we were able to talk to Michelle all night.i think we will keep returning to this bar to keep on building the relationship. I think I will even ask him if he can do my hair one day 🙂 I am praying  for michelle that God will start to stir something in his heart and that we can show great love to him that will start to change and pierce his heart 🙂 

 

Night 2

Me and Jen returned to see Michelle. As we walked up towards the bar, Michelle waved his hands franticaly shouting hello and asking us to come in. He was so excited to see us which was great because I had been praying that he would remember us all weekend and be thinking of us 🙂 He came and sat with us the whole night – he even brought us a couple of fruit pies and a plate of fruit for us to eat 🙂 We felt so welcomed and like real friends hanging out 🙂 We spoke about general stuff. We got on to the topic of hair because he had his hair all done nicely. I said how my hair was badly needing done and he said he could pick me up some hair dye from the market. I said "Could you do it for me Michelle?"  He looked so happy and said " yes" . So me and Jen have a date with Michelle on Wednesday – we will meet him in the afternoon for him to do my hair 🙂 I am so excited :)- also on a side note – 3 ladies came to the bar to see Michelle – 1 Thai, 1 American and 1 Japanese. Michelle said he would call them later and when they left he told us that these ladies like to take Michelle out to tell him about Jesus. We just said – thats great 🙂 – which it is because it means there is even more hope for Michelle.  There is long term people here trying to help Michelle- so please pray for these ladies that they will be able to show the love of Christ in the right way and it will speak volumes to Michelle 🙂 

 

Night 3

Me and Jen went to see Michelle. We were supposed to have a date with Michelle yesterday but he cancelled because he was ill. So we went tonight in hope that he would be working – but he wasn't there 🙁 We sat and got a drink and a lady boy called Natalie came and sat with us. It was really nice to sit with Nat and get to know him.He told us about all the things he loved to do. He also told us about his Italian boy friend that only comes to see him for 4 months out of the year. He said he calls him every night on skype and dreams of one day having a home in Thailand with him. He says he likes to go out dancing and next week we are hoping to go out with him. Near the end of the night Michelle came in and he looked very sad and unwell 🙁 he apologised like 4 times for not being able to meet us yesterday and says he can meet us next week 🙂 Pray that Michelle gets better. Right now my heart is breaking for these men. I am feeling empty and broken- I am determined to keep going and spending time with these men and showing love! They need identity. Gods moving me in incredible ways that is hurting. Sometimes I just wish we had more time here. I must trust the little time we have will bring greater things to these lives!

 

Night 4

Me and Jen went to see Michelle. We received a text from him last night saying he was not okay. We text him today but had no reply, so we felt we should  go down to the bar to see him. When we got there he was fine and very happy to see us. He said he has not being feeling 100% with his cold. He said he gets no customers when he is sick. I realised that he was lonely and that's probably why he had text us last night. We sat all night and chatted about different things.We had dinner there too. Michelle spoke tonight about his boyfriend in France- he said he only comes in November for 3 weeks. He said he loves him but his parents do not know that he is lady boy so that is why he cant be in France with him. He says he wishes he could be out there with him running a hair salon. He also told us that not very many people know about his boy friend. He doesn't tell people because of customers. Me and Jen realized that we weren't just anyone anymore. We realized that we had built a real friendship up and that he trusted us. He then asked me if he can do my hair!  He seems excited about doing it. So on Tuesday we will go and meet him at 1pm and he can attack my hair- its not been done in 9 months! The more I go the more my heart is going out to Michelle. He is lonely and fragile. He needs real love.

 

Night 5

Tonight me n Jen went to visit Michelle. Michelle was supposed to meet us today for a date to do my hair. He forgot what day it was and hadn't set his alarm so he slept in. He had text us to appologise and we said its ok and that we would stop in to see him tonight. As we walked up to the bar Michelle was sitting outside and he started to shout " I am soooo sorrry". We said it was ok and that we weren't upset with him. He then spoke about doing it tomorrow and said he really wants to do it 🙂 so tomorrow we will go again – hopefully he can make it 🙂 Tonight we sat and Michelle painted our nails for us- they were beautiful he used different colours and did different patterns 🙂 We had a nice night talking about makeup, hair and fashion. We then offered to buy him a drink and he said "No its okay!"- he said he doesn't like us always spending our money on him because we are his friends 🙂 This made my heart really happy to hear him say that because to me Michelle is one of my friends too. I love spending time with him. He found out tonight that we leave next Wednesday and he made a sad face. We all made a sad face. It breaks my heart to think of us leaving him 🙁 I hope and pray that more people and teams can come in and pour into Michelle! He is lonely and needs Jesus- even if it is through people going in to a bar and just drinking soda with him.

 

Night 6 

Today me and Jen went on our date with Michelle. We went out to a salon service where we bought hair cosmetics and makeup. We went back to the bar and ate some food – Michelle bought us a drink at the bar as it was not working hours. He said " This time I buy you drink" We then went up to his flat where he did my hair. He dyed it a chocolate brown with Carmel highlights :)- looks great! He spoke more about his life. He talked so much about his dreams of being a hairdresser and having his own salon. My heart started to break. Michelle is talented- I did hairdressing for 2 years and i can see that he is very professional and knows what he is doing- he could be making good money doing something he loves and something he is great at! It Makes me so upset. I gave Michelle money for my hair at the end plus payed his bar fee (8GBP)because he was 2 hours late for work .He didn't  want to take money but I made him take it. I said " Michelle, if I was at home I would pay my friends for doing my hair too!". He then just broke down and started to cry! I sat on the bed and put my arm round him-  by this point I was crying and so was Jen. I said " Michelle, I am not a customer, I am your friend !  I love you! ". I told him that I wanted to pay him for something that he loved to do and something that he deserves to be paid for – I told him that I wanted to do something nice with it. He just nodded with tears in her eyes and said " Will I see you tomorrow?" – it broke my heart 🙁 

 

I don't want to leave! 

 

I got home that night and when I sat on my bed I just broke down! I completely lost it! I cried on and off for a good few hours. 

My heart is being wrecked. I have seen some awful things this year and heard some heart breaking stories, but never has my heart felt the way it feels here.

 

I have till wednesday before I leave and honestly it breaks my heart 🙁 

Time is precious! The idea of leaving Michelle is awful. But man am I so thankful that God is moving and we are seeing results. Michelle is being real with us and is opening up to us. He is feeling things. I truly believe that when he broke down it was the Holy Spirit falling on us. 

 

I love this man. I am not ashamed to call him my friend. He really is my friend. I am seeing him the way God sees him. Jesus was with us in that room crying with Michelle

too! 

 

Part of me has these huge dreams and ideas of coming to Thailand and having a salon that Michelle could run. He could have other women or ladyboys from the bars work alongside him. I could do some make-up:) 

A salon that provides options and dreams for these men and women. They deserve a chance and deserve to live their dream.  This is all wishful thinking but maybe one day opportunities will come where we can do this. 

 

We only have a few days left and time is ticking. Pray that God keeps moving! Pray that when we leave, Michelle will take the english class.  This is where other christians who are based here will come in and teach english for free.

 

We want Michelle to meet more friends that love him! More friends that have the love of Christ.

Thank you, Love Dani xx