Well I must say that now that training camp is over, it was truly LIFE CHANGING! In the "mountains" of Tennessee, I experienced so much life, discovering who I am and who God created me to be. Getting a small taste of different cultures and what I am going to be encountering while on this 11 month journey. However, no tent or bowl of rice will ever compare to what I discovered spiritually.
At training camp, there was no concept of time, but there was one night in particular that changed my life forever. This one night the entire camp was sitting in on a session about the Holy Spirit. Everyone was tired from the prior activities, but we all seemed to perk up when the Holy Spirit was mentioned. I was so engrossed in every word that was spoken, that I forgot how tired I really was. Then Michael, the speaker, asked us if we wanted to receive the Holy Spirit. I stood up without a second thought. "UMMM… YES PLEASE!" I have encountered the Holy Spirit before, but I was ready for an entirely new encounter. We started to worship and I began to pray… nothing.
I prayed some more… nothing.
"ummm… God, what is going on? If I ask anything in Your name I should receive, right?"
So I begged God… nothing
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder… nothing.
Another hand… nothing.
"God! I don't understand! I want you more than anything, PLEASE!!!"
I was begging God like I had never asked for anything before… I had never wanted anything so badly in my life… this was for the glory of God, why would he not fill me with the Holy Spirit?!
Then I heard laughing behind me… I didn't think much of it, I just continued to pray. Getting nothing, I threw my hands up and put them on my head not sure what to do, then there was a hand on mine on top of my head. This hand was shaking violently… Like a wave, I was overtaken. I have received the Holy Spirit before, but nothing like this. All I could do was weep and say, "Thank you". Not "Thank you, God", just "thank you", I couldn't even say His name. The only way I can even come close to describing it was just a feeling of being unworthy and separated from the One True God… but at the same time, knowing how great HE is and knowing that HE loves me all the same… All I could say was, thank you.
So standing, weeping, and giving thanks, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Then another, and another, and another, and another. I had a ton of people praying for me. I thought that the Holy Spirit was all that I needed… nope! Apparently God had more in store for me because when those six or so hands prayed for me, I felt as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders… It was such a relief! I thought that all I wanted was the Holy Spirit but God blessed me with so much more than I bargained for. He gave me deliverance.
God is so good. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Sometimes it may feel like you are working harder than others to get what they have, but there is something you need to remember: God has His own journey for you. Don't compare the journey that you are on next to your brother or sister's, because God knows EXACTLY what you need, EXACTLY when you need it. So get on your knees and beg God, it really IS worth it.
