One thing I’ve come to learn on the Race is God often teaches a different lesson than the one I thought I was supposed to be learning. As frustrating and confusing as these unexpected lessons may be in the moment, they almost always end up being my favorite. One of these unexpected lessons recently happened during our last week in Thailand.
First off, I have to admit this is a lesson I know God has been trying to teach me gently for a very long time. It’s just now starting to get through my layers of stubbornness. Back in Malaysia, month four, one of my teammates gave me a pair of shoes that she no longer needed. I was pumped and eagerly accepted them. I was already carrying three pairs of shoes tennis shoes, chacos and a pair of nicer sandals for church, so this new pair made four. It was also an extra pair of something I didn’t need. As I accepted the shoes and shoved them into my overstuffed pack I heard God remind me that those who have more than one of something should be eager and willingly to share with those who had none. As I packed away my pretty new shoes I knew God was going to eventually call me to give them away so I shouldn’t get too attached.
Fast forward to the end of month five in Thailand; I wore those sandals almost everyday. Not just because I liked them or they easily went with my outfits, but because I knew God wanted me to give them to someone one day and I didn’t want to be unprepared to obey the Lord. That was the lesson He was about to teach me…yeah? Well, it finally happened. My team and I were leaving church and heading to the local Red Light District to prayer walk the street when God drew my attention to a woman laying on the sidewalk without any shoes on. Immediately, my thought was, “Lord, this is not the time. My team is on a mission to pray and I don’t have time to stop.” Ya’ll…I’ve never been good at being obedient, even to God. At first, I was disobedient and walked past the woman. Thankfully, God knows how I’m made and gave me another chance. He gently instructed me to be interruptable and turn around. I reluctantly listened. The woman spoke just enough English to understand what I was offering and accepted them with a small smile. I walked away with my shoulders back and my chin up. I was proud. I did what the Lord had commanded me and shoot dang if that didn’t feel good.
Then I began the prayer walk with my teammates…barefoot. We were walking on a street lined with bars and strip clubs. Trash and glass were everywhere. I prayed for God to protect my feet. My pride began to evaporate and was being overtaken by concern for where I was stepping. And then I noticed the stares. People were looking and pointing at my bare feet, clearly amused and confused. My prayers for the street and the people were distracted by prayers to not have people notice me as I walked by. Near the end of the walk and group of college aged students started walking towards us. I began praying again to not be noticed when God revealed the real lesson. I heard Him ask me, “Do you care more about what people think about you, or what I think about you?” I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that I had been obedient to the Lord and given away something I didn’t need to someone who didn’t have. That didn’t give me a right to be proud or feel like I did something special, because that should just be normal for Christians to do things like that. But God has been teaching me that my fear shouldn’t be man-based. My actions should not be focused on the approval of those around me but instead on our Father in Heaven. His opinion of me should be my driving force.
After God revealed His real lesson I was able to smile at everyone who stared at my feet and chuckle at their confused expressions. Joy was in my heart because I could feel a shift in my focus. Slowly but surely my focus is more on God and less on man. Oh, and to follow up on my prayer asking God to protect my feet…I didn’t step on a single thing, not even a pebble. Shoot dang, God is good.
