I’m just taking in the scenery as we drive along in our
Matata. It’s pretty obvious to me this
is going to be one of those reflective days.
Disney Land Academy to my right, Holy Spirit Catholic Church to my left,
yet another speed bump up ahead-I simply take it all in, yet continually ask
myself, “Can it really be true?”
I think back to Higgs’ blog, the one about how she shouldn’t
be here, and I’m overwhelmed with many of the same feelings. I remember sitting at the cybercafe, the one
that knows nothing about Macs, reading that very blog and tears welling up,
mostly because of how proud of her I am.
I know, I’m a dork but really, when you spend every day for 2 1/2 months
with someone and you watch the Lord work in her life in such big ways, you
can’t help but just smile, and if you’re me, you can’t help but start crying as
to how proud and how happy you are. But
anyway, I sat there, tears welling up and I couldn’t help but think, “I know
what you mean.” Our stories are
different, we’re far from the same, but in the end, I’m left thinking the same
thought-I shouldn’t be here.
So here I am in this Matata, en route some Kenyan waterfall,
asking myself, “Am I really here? Can it
really be true?” Because in my head,
when I think about it, it still doesn’t make sense. In my head, it sounds like the plot of some
twisted novel or some messed-up dream. I
mean, how else would some 22-year-old Catholic girl end up preaching in the
market place in Kenya? How else would
someone who knew nothing of happiness, nothing of love for the past 8-9 years
end up preaching on those very subjects?
We get to the waterfall.
It’s not any more real now than it was on the drive here. As I sit on a rock and stare at the beauty
before me, I find myself asking the same questions, “Am I really here? Can it really be true?” It just doesn’t make sense. I start thinking back on where I’ve come
from, what I’ve come through and ask myself, “How did someone who never saw
herself graduating college make it here?
How is someone who stopped believing in friendships, closed her heart to
trusting others loving 41 people she had never met before this?”
I look for a bit at the rainbow stretching across the
water. God, you are so good. How can it be that you’ve brought me to this
place? How can it be that you’ve done
this work in my life? I’ll never
understand it but forever I’ll be grateful.
I thank you my Lord and I am simply in awe you and this beauty around
me.
I hear them shout down to me so I snap out of “Daina world”
and join the rest of the crew as we make way to the part of the river where we
can swim. Walking along, it’s not any
more real, but I’m loving it. The trees,
the water-it’s all so beautiful. After a
few picturesque stops, we finally reach our destination. It doesn’t take long before the boys jump in
and soon after Lauren, Danielle, and I follow.
We bathe, we relax, we simply soak up the moment before us. It is only when I am finally swimming in this
river that it becomes real, that I finally realize this is all true and not
some dream I’m in. Not because it
finally feels real but because well, it’s life and life happens. Thanks to the current of this river and my
having lost weight, my ring was swept off my finger. And now, 2 days later, as I sit here
recalling this day, I am still ringless which leads me to conclude this is in
fact my life. As surreal as it feels at
times, this is in fact my life. Wow.
Lord, there are far more moments that I don’t believe
this is real than actually recognizing this as life and well, I kind of like
that. I like being enamored by the work
you do in my life. I like that it
doesn’t seem normal to me. Continue to
blow me away on a daily basis with the work you do in my life and in the lives
of those around me. Continue to just
blow me away because you are God and I am not.
Thank you for the work you’ve already done in my life. May I continue to be open and your vessel for
bringing Kingdom here on earth.
