If you’ve known me for a while, you know I LOVE to tell stories. True stories, exagerrated stories, God stories… you name it. I also happen to have more strange things happen in my life than most of my friends, so there you go.
Minor disclaimer… I am aware of using this blog as a story telling tool (I know you’re thinking about the total lack of stories from month 1). I haven’t forgotten you all, internet in africa is just sketchy at best.
Anyway, back to story telling. As Christians, we talk about story telling A LOT. Specifically our God story, our testimony. A testimony by definition is a story, short or long, of what God has done in our lives. Most often, we refer to our testimony as how we came to know the Lord. This story is a … well, a testimony about my testimony. This is the story of how God took my testimony and completely turned it on it’s head to tell a different, a better story about Him. It’s amazing, it’s beautiful, it’s a lot, and I just hope I can do it justice.
I have been a follower of Christ for 5 1/2 years and my story has always been a story of deliverance and change. I grew up in a “nonchristian home,” meaning my parents didn’t go to church and didn’t really make or encourage us to go, and as far as I knew, were not Christian. Growing up, I surrounded myself in softball. It was who I was, what I was, what I did, where I belonged, it was my entire identity. I played competitively from a very young age with the ultimate goal of playing in college and getting out of Carson City, NV. I have witnesses… that was ALWAYS my plan … and it worked. I loved it so much and some of my best memories are from that time. It has played a major part in who I am today. I was also fiercely independent as a child and as I got older and felt like I could take care of myself, I did as much on my own as I possibly could. From the age of 16 I worked, went to school, played softball, paid (some) bills … and partied… like an adult. I didn’t need anyone’s direction, help, or to be checked up on. Naturally, that could lead to doing some things that could get me into trouble. I’ll leave those parts of the story for personal conversation. But eventually, softball landed me in Union, MO, playing softball at East Central College in 2008 and eventually to Northwest Missouri State in 2009. That’s a long way right? Yeah … funny how distance won’t really change some of those things in your life, but God does. In 2011, as my career was ending, God brought some wonderful people in my life. Teachers, professors, 3 and 4 year olds that just eminated God’s grace, understanding and love for me. He blessed me with friends who answered question after question, walked with me everyday, and were gentle and kind even when I wasn’t. He showed me what Christians were meant to be like, not just what we saw on TV or were told about. He saved me, delivered me from my past. I was a different person.
That’s the story I generally tell (the SUPER short version). Good story right? I messed up, God loved me anyway, my life was changed. AWESOME! Our God is AWESOME. All the time. But sometimes, God wants more of the story, wants to show protection, provision, deliverance, transformation and adoption. This is what God wants in my story…
God wants credit for His protection: In that story, he’s protected me from the consequences of some of my actions, the actions of others, he’s kept me physically and emotionally safe, even when I didn’t know he was working.
God wants credit for His provision: Although my identity wasn’t in him. He gave me something to put my identity in that, let’s be honest, saved me from a world of hurt. Something I could identify in, run to, use… and we couldn’t have always provided that for me. God was in that. Ultimately, it brought me to him as well. He provided in those times, but also in His time, provided the individuals I needed to be pulled closer to Him, to see Him, to know Him and to fall in love with Him.
God wants credit for His deliverance: It’s not uncommon for us as individuals to beat ourselves up over things we’ve done, people we’ve hurt. This was my biggest personal obstacle in accepting his gift. How can he forgive me for the things I can’t forgive myself for? It’s unfathomable, but He did. God was there.
God wants credit for His transformative work: Anyone reading this that knew me before and after I met Jesus? Please testify to this. It’s simple… I’m not the same me and that’s all the proof I need. He showed up in my life and everything changed.
Last, but not least…
God wants credit for His adoption: This one is most important because it is evident in all things. If you know me, you know I have a tendency to “get adopted” everywhere I go. Sometimes I am sure it’s because of an invisible tattoo on my head that says “help me” or something, but my friends assure me that’s not true. They adopt me because they love me, care for me and see my need there. I have always needed to be loved, accepted, picked first, attended to, and throughout my life, God has brought that in a variety of ways. You can see it in my parents’ love for me, my best friend’s love for me, the love that fills the room when my sister and I are together, and of course in those adopted families.
I want to draw special attention to the family that God used to give me a physical representation of his adoption. The family that adopted me when he did. These are the same people that met me with kindness, compassion, love and patience as I weighed what it meant to be a child of God. They loved me, called me sister and even built me a room in their house (right? crazy… and they’ve taken me in more than once). We walked through some of the hardest parts of life together and came out stronger with one another and stronger with God. We’ve walked into new chapters together, closed old ones and, because our bond is God appointed, will continue to walk this journey. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes I am naturally contrary to what they are or how they operate, but they meet that with love. They’re stuck with me… and I know they wouldn’t let go if they could. That’s what God does. That’s what His adoption story looks like.
For me … this story has been there the whole time, I’ve just never looked at it in this light before. Maybe you haven’t either. But that’s what he has for you. Regardless of your story, where it starts or where it stands. Your story is (or can be) a story of adoption. The kind that never leaves you or forsakes you, because God never leaves you or forsakes you.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
