We got half way down the road and I could still hear the kids at Jireh Home sobbing as we walked away Sunday. My heart was to the point where it was so full that it literally hurt to leave. Tears streamed down my face and all I could do was cry. I would get a few steps down the road and turn around and look at Jireh Home and start crying all over again.
It reminded me of my last day at home when I went to visit my two youngest nieces at daycare. They both wrapped around my legs and refused to let go. When I finally got out the door I turned around to see my youngest niece, Helena, with her face and hands pressed up against the glass door sobbing.
Saturday night we had our last night of worship at Jireh Home. All the kids were present along with the staff of Jireh Home. The local pastor, his wife, and children even joined us. We sang a few songs then ended it with the song that we all first sang together, 10,000 Reasons.
At the end of worship our contact, Morong, made us stand up so each child could shake our hands and tell us thank you. Hand shakes didn’t happen. It turned into a combination of bear hugs, sobbing, and not wanting to let go. The pastor prayed for us afterwards and all you could hear was crying and sniffling. I had one kid wrapped around my leg and another gripping on to my hand as we tried to control our tears.
By the time we all finally got under control Morong told us that each child had made each of us a card. I am not talking about cute little cards that say “I will miss you,” the inside of each card was filled with long notes. The crying started all over again.
Each of us had our special child that we bonded really well with. Mine was a nine year old boy named Mongamshel. He had my heart from day one. Every night we would go to leave he would squeeze me tight and beg me not to go. After all the cards were handed out that night I looked at him and tears started pouring down his face and my heart broke immediately. I dropped to my knees as he ran over and hugged me for what felt like five minutes. That night I cried more than I have since I was twelve when my grandfather died.
The past few weeks have been filled with so much love. I truly feel like I am leaving part of my heart behind. We have spent the past few weeks teaching songs, telling bible stories, teaching Vacation Bible School, teaching english, doing devotions with the kids, sharing testimonies, playing games, but mostly loving on the kids.
Our Friday nights in Bangalore probably didn’t look like your Friday nights at home. Friday nights were movie nights at our house. We would have ALL the kids over and pile onto the floor and watch a movie. We would serve chips, cookies, and soda…and our last night all the kids got pizza. Every friday night I would have my “shadow”, Mongamshel, nuzzled in right beside me.
At one point last Friday night I was sitting against the wall and Stacie looked at me and asked me where my shadow was. She literally could not see him because he was so close to me on the other side. Every time that happened I would think of being at home and watching movies with my oldest nephew Caden. We would be on this huge couch and every time he would be right beside me, with his legs tucked into mine, almost as if he couldn’t get close enough.
I never thought I would go to the other side of the world to have to leave family all over again. That is exactly how I felt about every one at Jireh Home. Leaving them was equivalent to leaving family. They loved us so well.
After leaving Jireh Home on Sunday we met up with the rest of our squad for worship and church. The second song we sang as a squad was “You’re Beautiful.” All seven of us on our team started crying all over again as soon as they started singing. We spent the first week with our kids teaching them this song after they heard us sing it in church. They begged us to teach them. Every day since then we have sang it with them, at least twice a day.
This by far has been my favorite month of ministry, but the most challenging month on the race. This month has been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. We have had highs and we have hit lows. We have had to get each other through hard times and learn to praise God through it all. I am okay, but please keep our entire squad in your prayers….
