Uncomfortable…what would this mean for you?
Maybe it’s having to sit too close to someone at the food court at the mall. Or new shoes that haven't been broken in yet and still hurt your feet. Or maybe squeezing through a crowd at a concert or sports game?
This year the words uncomfortable and comfort have taken a whole new meaning. Comfort isn’t what feels good on the outside anymore. Its not a bonus to every day life. This year i have learned that the more uncomfortable i am.. the more comfortable I AM becoming. This race takes you out of any comfort zones you may have.. You have to get up in front of hundreds of people.. sometimes completely unprepared, and tell your story or share a word God has given you. You also have to cram 7-15 people in a 5 person truck to get from one place to another.. and deodorant isn’t a priority in most countries (oh the things we take for granted). You have to learn new ways to adjust your clothes when you come across a new (and i use this term extremely loosely) toilet/hole in the ground/trough/squatty/side of the road/etc etc. You have to learn to live in close proximity with others.. like in Nepal when our squatty toilet was practically in the girls room with no noise barrier and people with upset stomachs. You end up sleeping in bus stations, trains ,buses, airports and tents and most of the times there are a ton of outside noises and people staring at you. You sit in church services that are several hours long, on the floor, listening to a service not in your language.. just fighting to stay awake so you aren't disrespectful to the culture. All of these are things I never in a million years would expect myself to be doing- much less enjoying at the same time.
But this year also brings a whole new uncomfortable- It's more of an internal uncomfortable. I'm learning to be more comfortable with who i am on the inside and not worry so much about what i look like on the outside. With this trip and going to so many different cultures you have to be honoring to the contacts and the places you go so the food they serve you have to eat. I have eaten more rice this year that I’ve seen in my entire life. And as you guessed it- rice is fantastic to a woman's figure. A new uncomfortable- Uncomfortable in my own skin. Those of you who know me pre-race know that i usually am pretty particular about the food i put in my body and that i like to stay somewhat physically active and exercise regularly. Also from the different changes in climates and weather.. My skin has decided to have a mind of its own. I can’t remember the last time I had acne so bad. As much as i day-dream about seeing the days where I look like myself again.. i am learning to be happy with who i am on the inside.
No, i am not comfortable with my body right now.
Yes, rice for every meal for 2 weeks causes lack of all energy and makes you feel terrible.
But these are things that you have to sacrifice to serve. Our right to what we think we should have and our right to our own routines. These are not our bodies.. these are the Lords bodies to do with as He pleases and i am learning to be ok with that.
Im also learning to be comfortable with who I am. With the personality that God gave me. For my laughter that everyone always seems to find hilarious and comment on- but owning that and knowing that this is how God made me. But also to know when to refrain from some of the character traits i have picked up along the way of this thing called life that are not of God. I don't always have to control situations. I can sit back and let others lead me. Just because i have an opinion doesn't always mean it is necessary to voice it, that usually there are no wrong answers. I’m just not that important.
But also know that i have influence.
I can help others get to a deeper place spiritually.
My story matters and can help change lives.
I don't know if ill ever be able to say that i don't care at all about what i look like, that i should only matter about the inside (let's face it-I’m female) But i know that one thing this race has taught me is that to become yourself and to truly know who you are, you have to get to a place that no matter the situation you are in and how different it is to the way you are used to- your reaction should always mirror Christ. That you aren’t defined by the things that happen to you.. It’s the way in wish you react to them that sets you apart. That makes you Holy.
Glimpses of Mozambique
