Ephesians 3:7-8 By God’s grace and mighty power, I have been given the privilege of serving him by spreading this Good News. Though I am the least deserving of all God’s people he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ.
The scriptures really stuck out to me this morning while spending some QT with JC… It is so funny to me that even Paul who was in prison because of his faith in God still though of himself of unworthy. Often times I find that we think of ourselves as insignificant in God’s plan. Some of us have questionable pasts, or we think we aren‘t “good enough Christians“, maybe we think that we aren’t as good at speaking as others. Month three into this trip and I am already blown away at the different ways God can use us especially when we think we are of no use. All we have to do is listen to His voice and obey His command. Coming into this trip at training camp and at launch I was so amazed at the gift of speaking all of the AIM staff had. Seriously.. This people are GIFTED! I remember asking a few of them.. “Did you speak like this before you did the race?” and its funny how most of them laughed and were like- Not at ALL!
Since letting go of my insecurities (most of which like to sneak back in for a split second but I tell them NO WAY JOSE!) It’s funny how much more confident I am becoming in different aspects of life in general. Month one, if you had asked me to get up in front of a school of 200-300 I would have “inked myself” as the octopus in Finding Nemo says.. Haha sorry we just watched that… But now- when we are going to a school to put on a program I find myself so excited to get to share with everyone what we are doing and why. I can’t wait to talk about how God is using us every moment of every day! Another way I have grown on this trip is my prayer life, especially this month in Australia. My life group can attest to the fact that praying out loud, especially in front of people, is not at ALL a strong point of mine. It is something I asked people to hold me accountable for.. Ask me to pray out loud! I know the only way to get more confidence is to do it! When you are put on the spot it is hard to remember you aren’t praying as a show for the people around you, but you are having a conversation with God! I just have to remember to remove everyone from the equation and just say “OK Big Guy its just you and me!” There is so much to talk with him about.. And there is something special about doing it out loud and not just in your head. Its funny … We have something called feedback where we sit as a group and speak truth to each other and point out things in each other that aren’t of God- another way of growing.. BIG TIME! Its tough but SOOO good and beneficial. I actually had to be asked to step back from always volunteering to pray out loud so some other people who are trying to grow confidence in that area could speak up. Never thought in a million years that would happen! I find myself laughing out loud and pointing to the sky and saying “Oh you!! You are a funny thing aren’t ya?!” 🙂
We are quite to musical group I might add.. Everyone either plays an instrument or sings very well (Unless you are Andrew who plays ALL instruments and sings awesome!) !! We will sing a hymn then afterward we are like- dang that sounded sooooo good! One of the “desires of my hearts” has always been to be involved with a worship band, or even to get to the point with piano so that I could be involved somehow. Heck, ill even play a tambourine- whatever it takes! But while I was cleaning, with my headphones on – rockin out, just thinking about life I started cracking up! Holy Cow- God has given me the desire of my heart and I didn’t even realize it!! He never ceases to amaze me.. We have been a worship band on stage multiple times, I have found my confidence in singing growing so much more! Not that I sound and different but just to know that I can do it.. And I have people behind me encouraging me and not judging if I don’t hit the right note is all it takes. Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your heart’s desires.” so many times I’ve thought of this but thought that the desires of my heart weren’t important enough. Like singing in worship. There are so many other people out there with much more significant desires! Like having children, or being able to play with their children who are handicapped, or not being sick anymore. But God knows each of us by our name and everything that is important to us is important to Him.. Whether we believe it to be or not. I am finding that if I let God use me to speak, write, sing- whatever HE wants, not whatever I want, that I cannot fail and it will all be used for His purpose!
Psalm 63 1- “O God you are my God, I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon you power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of you wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.”
