In the past couple of years in my life i have come to the point where nothing seems to matter.   I go to work come home- Sundays and Wednesdays i go to church if i’m not working.  I see my family i talk to people–but not about what really matters.  I have gotten to where I go to work and I just blend in.  People know I’m a Christian because I tell them I am–I have gotten to the point where I live mainly for me and not for Christ.  I look back on my life in the past few years and there are times that i feel so ashamed that i break down and cry.  There have been doors opened that i shut and opportunities that I walked away from.  I refuse to let this continue when the Lord calls me this time.  I will listen.  I will be waiting.  I will be ready.  I choose to be willing and pliant and usable for my God.