I can’t believe I’m already at the end of month two! It’s insane how quickly time flies. Thanksgiving has come and gone, and it’s officially the holiday season! I want to rant for a bit because there is so much that I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for an opportunity to experience and live life authentically with people, the never-ending chances to grow, and all of you that are supporting me back home. I’m thankful I serve a God that doesn’t live in a temple or require me to earn my place based off works or karma. I’m thankful for my friends, community back home, and here on the race. I’m thankful for the friends I meet in each country. I’m thankful for the little things like coffee and toilet paper and adventure!
Traveling around the world gifts me with a new perception. Each new country is a new lesson. Thailand is teaching me joy. It is teaching me to give thanks, and it is teaching me to get out of my comfort zone. I’ve done’ more this month then I thought possible through both ministry and adventure! I’ve washed dishes, painted murals, and climbed water falls. A couple weeks ago, I went cliff jumping! And that’s what this month has felt like: a nerve-racking free fall before hitting cool water.
From the base looking up, the jumping grounds look low, but from the cliff’s edge, the free fall is intense. In a moment, you have to make the decision: to jump or chicken out. Once your feet leave the ledge, there is no turning back. I jumped twice. The first time, I didn’t look over the edge. I knew I’d flake if I did. I took my running start, and before I knew it, nothing but cool blue water floated beneath my feet. Seconds later, we met with a smash. Those few moments of free falling before hitting the water were simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. My heart pounded, and the first impact was a bit painful. But I decided to do it again, this time looking down before stepping off the cliff. Even though I jumped earlier, looking down still scared me a bit, but I jumped anyways.
Thailand is a continual exhilaration for me. I am either standing on the top of the cliff, free falling, or landing in water. Standing at the top of the cliff looks a lot like entering into vulnerability. It is getting ready to play and sing a set in a coffee shop or speaking in front of the entire squad. It’s signing up for a talent show without knowing exactly what you’re going to perform. The free fall comes when it is impossible to turn back. The moment you open your mouth and say just enough, when you strum your first note and sing your first song. It’s standing up in confidence. Once you offer and start to do it, there is no turning back. Eventually you land. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes you’re under water for a long time, but what is left is a sense of success.
Every time I stand on the ledge and look down, a part of me wants to turn around and walk away, but when I do, there is always regret. On Tuesday when I leave Thailand, I won’t have much regret because I didn’t walk away from very many cliffs. It may have taken awhile, but eventually I jumped. I jumped into this month, and I free fell into water.
On Tuesday, I head off to Malaysia, and I’m not excited to say goodbye, but I am grateful for this month of learning and serving. It hasn’t all been fun and games; it’s been heavy too. Living one street away from the red-light district adds new perspective to what this world holds. A hopeless darkness surrounds hurting people. Both the women and lady-boys working in the bars and those purchasing them need continual prayers. Without human trafficking, Thailand would crash; it needs a radical and supernatural change. It isn’t hopeless here, but in a country that is predominantly Buddhist, it seems nonexistent at times.
As I head into my next month, I am incredibly thankful for your continued prayers. Over this next week my specific prayers are for safe travels, that the $325 I still need for my next deadline will come in, and that I continue to stay present. Giving Tuesday is just a few days away, if you feel led to help me stay on the field, click on the donate button!
