So there I am.. boarding my plane in Wichita, KS to leave to go on the World Race. To say the goodbyes were emotional would be an understatement. I stood in security and sobbed. I looked over my shoulder to see my parents and sister huddled together with tears streaming. You see, it's always just been us. We are close. We are best friends. We are often all each other has. I would rather be with those 3 people than anyone in this world. They mean everything.
I was one of the last people to board my plane and I was embarrassed walking down the center aisle. I was getting some weird stares from my tear-stained cheeks. I hurried to find my row and found that I was sitting next to the window. I shoved my backpack under the chair in front of my seat, because I didn't want to open up the overhead compartment and try to lift that heavy bag up there while I'm all alone. Plus, I was just sure the plane was taking off pretty soon. So I sat there for what seemed like a minute and the plane did take off. I looked around the plane and saw not one seat to be empty. Just the two seats next to me. That's weird. Well, it was certainly for the best, because that flight was a sob-fest. I held to my "clinging-cross" my sweet friend Cristy Newlin bought me (It fits perfectly in the shape of your hand) So I'm holding on to my cross, crying at the thought of not being able to see my family for such a long time, and I eventually go to sleep. (It was like 6 am)
I woke up thinking, "Man, I'm so glad no one else had to witness that" Thanks God for letting me sit alone! Didn't really think anything else about it.
I have a 2 hr. layover in Atlanta and I quickly find my gate. I never stopped to think how I'll probably be seeing World Racers at this airport and even on this flight. Georgia is "home" to Adventure in Missions, who the World Race is ran through. This flight was pretty cheap and put me at the Washington D.C. airport at the perfect time. So what I'm trying to get at is.. there were tons of other Racers on my flight. I kept spotting them heading for my gate. They are pretty easy to spot, if you know what you're looking for. There is a lot of people from my team there and we are all exchanging hugs. There is bunch of people from other squads there too.
I'm giving you all this background information to
A. Show you how many people I could have "potentially" sat by that I know quite well.
B. Again, just reiterate my point of how packed now this plane is.
I board this plane a little differently. Slapping hands, giving smiles and hugs, telling jokes with people I know as I head to find my row. I keep walking and then I find my row. It's empty, as you probably guessed and I'm by the window. I sit down and wait. Obviously someone is gonna come sit by me right. This flight is full! There are people I "sorta" know all over this plane. Once again, the pilot begins talking and the plane begins taking off. I'm alone again, with not one World Racer anywhere around me. Sooo weird. I decide what to do. I remember my sister text me while I was in the airport and told me to remember the little book she gave me. Through the tears of that morning, she had handed me a little purple moleskin notebook wrapped in lace, and i stuffed it down in my bag. On the text and by the first page of the book, I knew this book was not meant to be read all at once. She said "Read it on days you feel like you need a little of home." Well, i'll always need a little of home, but I knew what she meant. I read the first page and already begin to cry. Her handwriting is strewn throughout this "completely full" purple book. Notes and letters to me. Little sayings and jokes we like to say. Little pictures she printed out and glued in there. They aren't all of me, some of people she just knows I would want to see. She even had a lot of people close to me write me letters. Let me just say..
There isn't a person on this earth who knows me any better than Cheyenne Brooks. Next to my Lord, she knows me the absolute best. I've told her about everything there is to tell a person. I know I can be 100% myself around her. She told me a bit before i left that I was the weirdest person she had ever met. Thats completely true, because when I'm comfortable around you…I'm so weird. This is my sister mind you. So obviously we're gonna be close on some kind of level. But it's different. If she wasn't my sister I would have picked her as my friend. I just got lucky and got to sleep across the hall from her for 15 years. She is the most beautiful person I know. Inside and out. People like her only grace this planet a few times in a lifetime. I share a last name with one of them.
Thank you Nan for my book. I will treasure it so. It was the best gift in the world.
I was boarding one final plane, calling everyone I'd ever met in my life to tell them bye. Actually it was more like calling my parents and sister to tell them "I love them, I will miss them." I'm sitting in my seat on this massive plane bound for India with my parents on the other end of the phone, giving me encouraging words. My phone will be set off within hours and I need to get in every second. I finally turn off my phone and settle back into my seat with a peace from the Lord. I feel him tell me "I'm protected, He's got this, He's in India waiting for me to arrive." I know I've said it before, but this time (FOR REAL!!) this plane is soooo full. I'm sitting in the aile seat this time. A very sweet Indian man is sitting by the window and there is a seat in between us. I talk to a member of my team across the aile, Chip, about my college degree and what I want to do in life. The plane soon takes off and I realize once again I don't have a person sitting beside me. Yes, I have the precious Indian man (who only got up once on the 12 hr. flight, because I'm convinced he never wanted to wake me up in order to get up) and I have Chip Carnes across the aile. However, I still feel pretty alone. I'm able to stretch out a little. When I nod off to sleep. I'm able to use the other seat to sort of lean on. We all know how uncomfortable flying forever is. I don't think I'll ever be able to afford First-Class, so flying 12 hours sitting straight up will have to become the norm.
For the first time since the day I left Wichita, Kansas I begin to really think about it. I'm nodding off and the Lord is saying "I did this to bless you". You needed to just be alone on the first flight. You couldn't talk to anyone. You needed to cry what tears you had left upon reading Cheyenne's book and all the people who wrote in it. Sitting next to some stranger would have just been awkward. Now I want you to sleep Child. I want to give you rest.
And rest I did. I got up from that 12 hour flight feeling great.
Some of you are thinking.. "Ok, she's weird". "Are you thanking God for empty plane seats?" My answer is yes. I'm entering a difficult time in my life. A time where seeing the beauty in things will be hard, and I have to be intentional. I have to seek the beauty out. So I journaled this all down and got so excited I thought I'd just write a blog. For the days when it's hard, for the days I can't see God in the midst of my situation, i'll turn here.
Thank you for the little blessings Jesus. Thanks for always creating oppourtunies to make me smile.
Like when I arrived in India and was sleeping on the ground of some dirty church building and there's no AC. Iit felt like 4 fireplaces were going at once in that room. Thank you for the downpour of rain you provided. Some other girls that were awake and I decided to go take a rain shower. Like we brought out our soap and shampoo. I went to bed clean!! I went to bed cold! It was wonderful.
I'll remember the big things you do. I'll remember the small things you do. Often times, the small things are big things. At least to the person they effect.
Thank you for reading this. It was terribly long. So either you genuinely care about me or you were just super bored. Either way, thank you! I'm blown away by your love.
I have so much to tell about India. I'll do that next time 🙂 This is hopefully the first of many.
