i've been in my hometown of las cruces, new mexico for the past couple of days for the giving of thanks as well as the raising of support. this place has always been a place of rest for me, and a huge part of me didn't want to hop on the plane over here, but not because i didn't need rest. it's the exact opposite, actually: i've been in such need of rest that i didn't know what it felt or looked like anymore. it burdened me knowing that i was coming to my place of rest in a season where i needed it the most and that i wouldn't be able to. i was coming to my haven of refuge to work: to work from home (literally), to raise massive amounts of support in a very short time, to love on others from a place that seems to have been running off of reserves for the past couple of months…
i hit the ground running, nay, sprinting while i filled my limited time meeting up with people that i love deeply. it started off beautifully, with an early morning hike up a mountain to catch a sunrise with my best friend.
through huffing and puffing while we ascended the mountain, we shared our hearts and lives that we've missed out over the past couple of months. once we reached the top, we perched ourselves on a rock wall waiting for the sun to poke its head out of the peaks and talked about some hard things we've recently walked through; the conversation somehow found it's way to a place of asking each other for forgiveness and reconciling pieces of ourselves to each other. we walked down the mountain in different spiritual places than when we walked up and i couldn't help but hope that this was a transition, a shift i've been waiting for.
on paper, my first full day home was filled to the brim: i went to two churches, spoke with numerous people, shared meals with others and was met with an incredible amount of warmth and love. it seemed supernatural how people would come up to me and seek me out, releasing Love and affirmation into my Spirit about how excited they were about this upcoming season of moving to kenya in january. i was being sought out, not the other way around. everywhere i turned, people wanted to know more and encouraged me. it blew my mind and instead of being overwhelmed, i went to bed that night with a sensation that i haven't felt in far too long: i felt rested.
i'm sleeping way less, i'm talking way more, i'm drinking decaf* coffee, i'm scheduling my days full with coffee/breakfast/lunch/dinner/picnic/skype/phone dates, i'm speeding up not slowing down. i'm coming from a season in the desert, dehydrated and dazed, to running a marathon and i'm making record time! He's not only given me the energy to pour out, my Spirit is actually being rejuvenated and nursed back to its restful state!
i came into this trip home with a mentality of hoping people would open their wallets** and instead people are opening so much more than that: they're opening their homes, their arms, and their lives and sweetly inviting me into them. i get to sit across from people and not pitch a sales idea, but instead get to share my passion of how God is moving in my life. i get unique opportunities to speak Life into dry places. i don't see hands reaching into their purses or pockets for wallets. i see something even better. i see this flicker of fire ignite in the Spirits sitting across from me. i see this eagerness to seek something more. i see tears forming in the corners of eyes staring back at me in amazement: not at what i do but at who He is. and they walk away wanting more of Him. i would take that over a check any day.
dear reader, i came here to raise support and awareness and God turned it around on me: He raised the awareness in me of how much i am supported. by people i haven't seen in years. by family and childhood friends. by anonymous donors. but most of all, by His Spirit alive in me.
much Love.
*by choice!!! this is miracle status, people!
**so shallow but so true.
