“Am I enough? Will I ever be loved? Will I ever find a husband? Is my life worth living? What’s my purspose?” Has your mind ever been plagued with questions like or similar to these? If so, then you’re not alone. My life used to be plagued with thoughts of unworthiness, feelings of being unloved, depression, and much more. Our society says it’s weak to have talk about these thoughts so that’s why we feel ashamed to talk about anything negative that goes through our mind and our lives. But I’ve learned that there’s healing and power through stories. I’ve learned that the more vulnerable I am with people about my past, especially the most shameful, sinful parts of my past, the more the Lord has used it to help people heal in their own lives, including my own. When I tell a mother who’s in an abusive relationship and debating whether to escape from abuse, I can give her hope and tell her that I was held at gunpoint by an abusive boyfriend and had the courage to leave and found my strength through the Lord. When a woman doubts her beauty, confidence, and worth, I can tell her that I looked at myself in the mirror every day for ten years thinking that I was would never be loved and I was worthless because I was rejected by men when I told them I was bipolar. The love and affection that I seeked from men can only come from the Lord.
Now I know that any negative thought that goes through my mind is a lie. The Lord uniquely designed each of us and made a plan for our lives before we were even born (Jeremiah 1:5). Isn’t that awesome?…there is no one else in this universe like you! You and I were created for a unique purpose in mind. When I thought that there was no reason to live, this same verse came to my mind and I knew that the Lord put it there. I made a choice to live boldly, courageously, and confidently in who the Lord created me to be. It’s a process and a daily choice to become this person, but it’s a choice worth pursuing. It took me a while to realize that, but I don’t want my life and my story to be a waste and if my story can help one person, then it’s worth sharing.
