So this blog is long overdue… Life has been crazy busy with goodbyes, friends visiting, and moving back home. So here goes nothing!! I pray God speaks to you as you read this like He has to me..
A little over a week ago I flew to Georgia for World Race Training Camp. I had my expectations thrown out the window, learned about freedom and what that feels like! It’s a beautiful thing!! We took “showers” in the lake, and I got really angry at God the last night. I also fell in love with the best squad out there!
Let’s just jump to the last night of training camp, considering I am still struggling, if I am being honest. All week long I knew that I needed to depend on people more for help along with God in all areas of life. I am very stubborn (Thanks mom AND dad!) and was taught to be independent. There is nothing wrong with being independent but sometimes it can get you in trouble.
One of my teammates Courtney said “Courty, we all have different gifts and mine is helping others. So if I was someone else and I knew you needed help but you wouldn’t let me, my feelings would be hurt.” Ouch. Okay, I get it because I LOVE giving and helping others! I get so much joy out of it! So with that being said, my challenge with God and myself was all week was if people asked me if I needed help, I would say yes.
THAT IS SO HARD!!
At first someone would ask and I immediately said no thanks and kept going on my way. Then God started really working in me and said, “remember that promise you made me?” Okay, God I WILL try harder. My no’s soon became no.. wait.. yes please.. to a very humble and simple yes.
We had feedback Friday with our teams and some of them had told me that I had been doing really well with being willing to let people help me. Then squad wars came and went and I ended up on the ground.
After hearing a loud pop, I just leaned against the wall trying my hardest to not cry nor let anyone see me cry. Some of my lovely squad mates soon surrounded me with ice and prayer and love! (Did I mention they are seriously the best!)
Then it happened. Courtney and Wesley made a look at each other and I knew that this was God telling me to FULLY be dependent on others and Him.
I ended up rolling my ankle really bad and having some nerve damage. It’s has now been 3 weeks and the crutches have been put away! Thank you Jesus!! My armpits were hating me!!
The best thing about this is that The Lord is teaching me so many things through this even on the toughest days.
I’m seeing that the redemption of The Lord through this is so much bigger than me being selfish and not allowing others to help me. I don’t think I ever understood redemption as much as I do now and how beautiful it is!! The Lord is breaking me and rebuilding me through His own timing and not mine! So much more redemption is ahead and I know it’ll be hard. It won’t be easy. That just means I’m well on my way to a beautiful messy journey with my Lord and I can’t wait!!
July 3rd, I leave for Bolivia and would like to reach my goal of $10,000 before I leave! If you feel like God is telling you to give, please know this is not about me but about furthering the Kingdom!! You get to be apart of something bigger!! I would also love for you to partner with me and pray for my team and squad as we spend the last few weeks preparing to leave. As well as staying present with where God has us right now! Thank you to everyone who has encouraged, loved, prayed, and supported me! None of this would be possible without you!!
